I still have regrets.

Chapter 6 Finding Natsu

Gray POV
I didn't understand what Erza ment. I mean what, Natsu is jealous of Juvia. Wait that means..
"Wait a minute, you mean... that Natsu likes me???" "Finally, Gray." I was so shocked I felt silent and stood frozen and I just couldn't comprehend what that means. "Gray, now you know, what are you doing?" "What do you mean Erza?" She sighed again. "How will you react stupid. He doesn't know you know. Do you accept that he's probably gay, I mean he can be bi. Do you see him differently?" So that's what he meant yesterday. That people will see him different, he's gay or bi. He likes boys. He's afraid to confess something like that. "I don't know..." "I wasn't supposed to say this but okay. He wanted to confess to you after the mission, when you made the announcement. But..." "I didn't let him finish and I announced it so he couldn't afterwards." "Erza, why does he wants to leave the team?" "So you heard. I believe it is because he can't handle seeing you together with Juvia. He really loves you Gray, he is heartbroken ever since." I was stunned. Erza understood him so well. Now I understand why she was looking after him. "But he said it was okay if Juvia joined the team." "BAKA!" I cringed. "Everyone was okay with it, but Natsu couldn't say he wasn't. Everyone would blame him for being rude because she is your girlfriend. It was obvious she would join." "You have a point. Shit I should never have asked you guys this." "Gray, you can't blame yourself for that, if any of us would had a girl or boyfriend we all wanted that they join the team. That's obvious." "I still feel bad. But can't he give up on me." "Gray you're really stupid sometimes. You know Natsu can't." "What do you mean Erza?" "Are you really that retarded? Natsu is a dragonslayer. They choose a mate, just like dragons. If they choose the mate they chosen for life. They can only mate one person. That's why it hits him harder I guess." I felt silent. "But Erza, I can't just give up my girlfriend, because Natsu can only mate for one person." "I know that Gray, I'm not expecting you to do that. I want you to accept Natsu how he is. Probably Natsu will never be the same after this. But for now we have to find him." "I will try, I still don't know how to react to all this information."

 We started walking faster to find Natsu. We searched the whole day, we met the others a few times. But we didn't find Natsu. It started to get darker but we kept searching. We were still searching in partners. Suddenly I see something pink in the distant. I start running to it. It was in the dark forest at a lake. I ran so fast I lost Erza somewhere on the way. There he sat on the side of the lake. I was exhausted, I was breathing hard. He turned around. He looked awful. He had teary eyes. He had an sad expression, he was a mess I could at least see that. "Gray?" "I'm sorry man..." "Sorry for what?" "That I didn't understood you." His eyes went huge and he turned his face to the lake again. He was ignoring me again. I sighed. "I didn't realize it was about me all this time. That you weren't jealous of me, but were jealous at our relationship. Jealous of Juvia, of having me. I'm sorry I didn't understood sooner." "Erza told you right. You're too dense to come to this answer on your own." "Yeah you are right, Erza told me because she wanted us to stop fighting." "I got it." "Aren't you angry or something?" "Why should I be Gray? What do you want me to say? Break up? Like hell I can. I will feel guilty, I can't stand in your way of having a relationship with her." "Is that the reason this is your last mission with the team?" "Yea, I'm glad for you that you found love, but I can't bear to see it.. I'm sorry. That's a silly reason right." "No, I understand. Please be honest with me. Did you want to confess the day of the announcement?" "Yea, I actually did. But I was too late." He stood up from his place. "Gray, come we will finish this mission together. But don't forgot I will leave the team. So it is really my last mission." "What are you planning on doing after the mission?" "I.. I don't know. Maybe travel around and do quest along the way or something like that." "There is no way you can find love again?" He started blushing. "So you even heard that.. yeesh. N-no.. I won't. It's a dragonslayer thing. I can't find another love if I made a choose who my mate would be. But I'm sorry to trouble you with all this. This will make you feel guilty right. I will stop.. Come we need to meet the others." I was stunned how easy, no how he dealt with it. He looks devastated still, but he probably knew the consequence when he fell in love with another. That's the risk right, I still feel guilty though. We walked back to the others. Everyone embraced Natsu and said they were glad he is back. He didn't look glad at all. Like he didn't want to be found. He put on a fake smile.