I still have regrets.

Chapter 7 The news

Gray POV
After the last mission that Natsu took with us, the guild changed. The guild was much gloomier, they lost not only Natsu but their Dragonslayers as well. The guilt was eating at me. We still took some missions as team Erza, we changed the name but it didn't feel the same. It was already a year that Natsu left. We only hoped that they would come back at some point. They did contact gramps on the beginning but after two months they stopped doing that. What made us worry even more. I still don't understand why they didn't send a searching team to find them. Every time I ask this to gramps, he react like no we should give them more time. They will eventually come back. Will they I'm wondering every day. What reason does Natsu have to come back. None right, he has his dragonslayers sibling with him and his cat. He doesn't need us anymore. Why does it hurt so much though? I told Erza about the guilt and that it hurts so much that he left. Erza nodded understandingly, she had it hard like everyone else. "Your still dense Gray, you baka." She told me that and left me alone to think. I still don't understand what she meant with that. Dense about what? I still think a lot about him. Juvia still my girlfriend though. She feels guilty as well, she has the feeling he left because of her joining the team. She cried herself in sleep many times, how many times I tell her it wasn't her fault. She doesn't listen, she doesn't believe it. Lucy changed as well, she has the feeling she was the only one who didn't understand Natsu. She doesn't smile anymore and she also believes it is her fault that he left.

Erza doesn't talk about Natsu anymore. She is hurt as well, she blames herself that she couldn't stop him leaving. I understand Erza though, he opened up to her. But she also betrayed that trust by telling me, I'm so selfish. Erza is feeling so awful because of me. I want to apologize, I'm really dense that I realize this now. I walked to where Erza was seethed. But before I can join Erza at the bar, gramps comes shouting out of the office.

"KIDS, ATTENTION." Everyone went silent and was listening with attention towards gramps. "I have news about the dragonslayers." My eyes went huge, just like everyone else I guess. "Master, what have you heard?" Erza asked. "Listen child. They decided that they will come back finally. But it is not sure in the letter I received that everyone will come back." "What do you mean gramps?" I yelled. Erza looked to the floor, like she knew something again. "The letter doesn't say they all will come back. They don't mention the names who are coming back, so don't have your hopes high that everyone will come back. That was all the information I got." The gloom in the guild returned. Did gramps know who doesn't come back. Is it Natsu? If that is the case I would blame myself even more. 

I walk to Erza who was sitting at the bar. Staring at her strawberry cake but not eating it. That is so unlike Erza. I sit next to her. "Are you okay? The news hid you hard right?" She looked at me with a soft expression. "Gray we both know he isn't coming back." That shocked me, I mean I always had hope he would. "So you didn't see that coming." She said. "No actually not, I still have faith that he will come back." "What reason does he have to come back Gray? To see you are still taken, he has sibling with him. Why would he come back?" "I also believed that, but some of the dragonslayers are coming back right, gramps told us. If some of them are returning but he isn't doesn't that mean he will be alone." "Yea, but do you think he is ready to face us. Face you." She said looking me in the eyes. "I don't know, I don't even know what I feel this day myself, if I can face him." "Your still selfish Gray. It isn't about you, you know that right. You still have Juvia so don't make things complicated." I didn't know what to say to that. "Erza, you didn't looked so surprised when gramps told the news, did you knew already?" She sighed. "Yea actually I do, master did receive letters from them after the two months, but the letters said that only master and I may read them." "You knew more about him." She nodded, she was clearly ashamed. "I didn't want to tell you actually, but he still has a hard time. I find it a wonder if he comes back. He didn't mention it once in all those letters. He..."