Tell Me A Lie In A Beautiful Way (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 59

Kat's POV

My alarm went off and I groaned, rolling over and turning it off. I didn't want to do today, I didn't want to do anything to be truthful.

The last few weeks had been a fucking mess. It all started after we met up with Desiree's friends. We went out, we had fun, but the next morning I woke up to some not so nice texts. Matt actually thought I was dating someone.

How fucking dare he! We'd been apart a few weeks and he actually thought I was out there dating again, instead of moping around carrying his child.

"Asshole." I whispered, sitting up in bed. "Piece of shit."

I was just so mad at him, and I was even madder after we'd run into them accidentally at the Sullivans. Dez had wanted to call in and say hi, and while we were there, they'd shown up. Matt had actually had the nerve to accuse me of dating to my face and I'd lost my shit. He was a senseless bastard and he honestly had no fucking idea why I'd left him in the first place.

I stood up, stretching and grabbing my clothes, before heading into the shower.

Honestly, I was at a point now where I was glad I'd left Matt and the chances of us getting back together were very slim. He'd never change and unless I wanted to spend my life being second best I guess I needed to move on.

I turned on the shower, stepping in. Yeah I needed to move on, but today we were heading to Mexico. I didn't want to go, not at all, but Dez was still working for the band and she wanted me to go as moral support. I was a bundle of nerves, and I just knew Matt was going to act like an ass in front of everyone. His pride was hurt and it was me who was going to pay for it.

I wanted to say no, but Dez was having a hard time herself and I knew she didn't want to face Zack alone. So here I was, getting ready so we could go to the airport and board a plane to Mexico.

I showered quickly, getting dressed and heading into the kitchen. Dez was sitting at the table, staring at nothing, chewing on her thumb nail.

"Hey." I said, making myself a cup of coffee.

"Oh hey." She said looking at me. "So Larry is letting us get on the plane first, you know, so we don't have to wait around with them."

I nodded, biting my lip. "Okay." I said softly, taking a mouthful of my coffee.

"Kat." Dez said softly. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, and even as I did that I felt tears fall down my cheek. "I don't know if I can do it." I sobbed, turning to look at her.

"Oh god Kat." She said getting up and coming to me, hugging me tightly. "I know."

"I just don't want to see him Dez." I sobbed. "I don't want to look at him."

She rubbed my back gently. "Why Kat?" She whispered. "Why don't you want to see him?"

"I'm scared." I whispered, attempting to wipe face.

And I was scared, I was so fucking scared.

"Scared of what?" Dez asked, pulling back to look at me.

I took a deep breath, biting my lip, trying not to cry, but failing, miserably. "I'm scared Dez." I whispered. "So scared, that when I look at him I'll see he doesn't love me anymore."

"Oh Kat." Dez murmured, hugging me again. "Do you know that's the first time you've actually admitted to me that Matt loves you?"

"Loved." I sobbed. "Loved me, now he thinks I'm running around dating."

"Yeah cause he's a fucking idiot." She chuckled. "But Kat." She said, pulling back to look at me. "You won't look at Matt and see any difference, he loves you as much now as he always has."

I nodded, wiping my face, wanting to believe her. "Maybe." And maybe was the best I could do for now.

"Okay." Dez said smiling. "Let's eat breakfast, get ready and then head off to the airport."

I agreed, attempting to eat a little. I had a big day ahead of me, I felt queasy, it was a mixture of nerves and morning sickness. The morning sickness for me hadn't been to bad, but it just came over me at really dumb times. Dez and I had been at the supermarket the other day and suddenly I'd had to run off to throw up, once I'd thrown up I was fine.

Today I felt okay though, I think the queasiness was nerves, so we finished breakfast, cleaned up and then went into our rooms to finish getting ready.

I put on a comfortable dress and stared at my self in the mirror.

My body was changing, I looked a little bigger, especially in the boobs, but I didn't think I looked pregnant, at least not yet anyway.

When was the right time to tell Matt he was going to be a father? I just didn't know, and I didn't know he would take it. Maybe he would hate the thought of being a father? What the fuck would I do then?

I sighed, looking at myself. I'd do what I was doing now, I'd be alone and I would raise this baby by myself.

"Kat." Dez yelled, interrupting my thoughts. "You ready?"

I sighed. "I guess." I murmured, grabbing my bag and heading out to meet her.

The taxi was already waiting for us, and after the driver helped put our bags in the trunk, we climbed in, heading to the airport.

We were silent for the trip, both of us staring out the window, lost in our own thoughts.

I was nervous, but god, I was just so scared.

We arrived at the airport, and as Larry had promised, we got on the plane before anyone else had arrived, so we got comfortable in our seats, attempting to look casual.

"Stop shaking." Dez murmured, grabbing hold of my hand.

I bit my lip, looking at her. "I'm trying." I whispered, and I was trying, I was trying to calm myself down.

"Oh god." Dez said quickly. "Here they come."

And she was right, I could hear him, I could hear Matt talking, I'd recognise his voice anywhere, and even now, after everything, the sound of his voice gave me goosebumps.

I attempted to look uninterested as he boarded the plane, but god, I could smell him and he smelt so good, so Matt.

As he walked down the aisle I looked up, straight into his eyes.

Oh god I loved him. I loved him more than anything.