Tell Me A Lie In A Beautiful Way (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 63

Kat's POV

I'd stopped crying by the time we got onto the bus and as we sat down I felt ashamed. I'd gone about that the wrong way. What kind of woman screams about being pregnant in front of everyone? It was something that I should have done in private, but he just made me so angry, he knew how to push my buttons and I was more angry over the fact that I lost control. I let him get to me when I shouldn't have.

"You okay?" Dez whispered as the other's climbed onto the bus.

I just nodded, staring out the window. Right now I couldn't look at Matt and I certainly couldn't look at anyone else.

"Well if it's any consolation." Dez continued to whisper. "Matt looks like he's been hit by a bus, all pale and shit."

I nodded again. I bet he looked like he'd been hit by a bus, his wife had just screamed at him that they were having a baby.

I closed my eye's as the bus started moving. I pictured Matt's face when I told him. He'd looked shocked and the colour had drained out of his face, but I couldn't tell, I just couldn't tell how he really thought about it. Was he happy or was he horrified.

It didn't matter, I told myself once again, I was prepared to raise this baby by myself, I didn't need Mr Matthew Sanders.

We arrived at the hotel and I waited until everyone else piled off the bus, taking my time, so by the time I made my way inside Dez already had the key to our room, so once again I could avoid everyone, who were giving me strange looks.

They probably thought I was the bitch from hell, but I didn't care, they didn't realise the crap I put up with, the crap I was still putting up with. Matt didn't love me and now I was beginning to realise it.

"Well this is nice." Dez said as she let us into the room.

I looked around. It was nice, but all I saw was the bed, and right now I wanted to crawl onto that bed and disappear from the face of the earth.

"I'm going to have a quick shower." Dez said as she begun to unpack. "Then go and check that my gear arrived all in one piece."

"I think I'll just sleep." I mumbled, throwing myself on the bed.

"Kat." Dez said softly. "Don't let it ruin your time here okay. Have fun, enjoy this trip."

I looked at her and nodded, although I knew while Matt was around I wouldn't be able to have any fun, I'll just look at him and my heart would break all over again.

I buried my face in the pillow and cried softly while Dez showered and by the time she finished I wiped my face and stared out the window.

"I wont be long." She whispered, kissing my forehead. "Then we can go and eat or something."

I nodded, but honestly, food was the last thing on my mind.

After she left I got up and had a shower, freshening up. It didn't make me feel any better, but I hadn't expected it would.

I got dressed, grabbed a bottle of water and sat on the couch in the room, staring at the television. Some show was on and they were speaking in Spanish, not that I cared.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and I felt my heart jump into my throat.

I put my water down, thinking quickly to myself. I could pretend I wasn't here, but whoever it was was persistent and they knocked again.

"Who is it?" I called getting up and approaching the door.

If it was Matt I wasn't opening it. I didn't want to deal with him yet, later, but not now, I just wasn't emotionally ready for him now.

"Kat." Dani called from the other side of the door. "Let me in."

I took a deep breath. God Dani. Dani my best friend. Dani whom I had failed to tell I was pregnant. What must she think of me and my horrible outburst.

I opened the door and looked at her shamefully. I was ashamed, so ashamed at myself. Ashamed for not telling my best friend and ashamed for yelling it at my husband in the middle of the airport.

"Kat." Dani said, pushing past me and slamming the door. "Is it true?" She asked. "Are you really pregnant?"

I nodded, chewing my lip. "Yeah I am." I whispered.

"I see." She mumbled. "And how far along are you?"

I could see the hurt on her face and I wanted to die. This was Dani, Dani who'd always been there for me.

"About 18 weeks." I murmured.

"God Kat." She said reaching out and pulling me into a hug. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry." I whispered, the tears starting. "I didn't want to tell anyone, not with everything that's happened."

"It's okay." She soothed, rubbing my back gently.

"Here I am pregnant." I sobbed. "And separated from my husband."

"Oh Kat." She whispered. "He's trying."

"What?" I snapped, stepping back, wiping my face and looking at her.

"Matt." She said. "He's honestly trying."

"You call that trying." I snapped. "Constantly trying to embarrass me in front of everyone?"

"Well no." She mumbled. "He just get's tongue tied Kat." She explained. "And everything comes out wrong."

"I can't believe you're defending him." I said glaring at her. "You of all people, you who has spent most of this relationship telling me to leave and when I finally leave you take his side."

"Kat." Dani sighed. "I haven't taken sides, god."

"Well it seems like it." I muttered, looking down at my hands, my hands that still had my wedding rings on it.

"Kat." Dani said, putting her arm around my shoulder and guiding me to the couch. "He's trying you know, he really is."

I snorted, sitting down. "Oh yeah." I muttered. "He's trying real hard."

"Kat." Dani said softly, pulling me into a hug again. "Trust me okay. He's trying, god girl, he loves you more than anything, and yes, maybe baby blurting at the airport wasn't the way to go, but trust me, he's fucking stoked about it."

I looked at her, cursing myself for crying. "Well why can't he act like it?" I cried and that was all I wanted, Matt to act like he loved me, to act like he actually cared.

"Give him time Kat." She said smiling at me. "He loves you, god he's fucking mental without you, give him time and you'll see."

I shook my head. "I've given him nothing but time Dani." I whispered.

And I had, I'd given him several years of time, but now, maybe now, time was running out.