Error 404 (Martin Garrix fanfiction)

Chapter 33

•Martin's pov.•

It has been months that she has been in coma. In the beginning I visited her everyday for at least one hour, just talking to her and not knowing if she actually heard me. I stayed at her parents house and tried to band with them so we would still have each other.  But soon I had to go on tour again start producing and my visits became weekly or even monthly... I got busy and caught up in working that I saw Rosa rarely. I also started to drink more then I used to... Too much actually. I can't control myself anymore without her. There are some things that happened the past weeks which I'm not proud of. I got so fucked up the past weeks that I played gigs drunk and made a mess out of my sets... I hooked up with other girls, I picked random fights and I don't know what is going on with me. It's like I am not myself anymore without her. And if she wakes up and I have to tell her this she will be disappointed in me. And I don't blame her, I am letting every one down.

"Martin! Time to go now!" My manager yells. I have to go to the airport now to Vegas playing five gigs this week and I'm bringing along some friends, also Julian and Olivia.

A few hours before my set the pre-party gets started. Julian starts drinking like the rest and so do I. Also Olivia, who got released a last month, starts getting into it. I stay in the corner for a moment and think about her... Wondering how she is doing now. When I come back I will visit her immediately.
I see Julian making some moves on Olivia but she is already getting too drunk to notice what is going on or what she is doing. He grabs her waist and starts kissing her. She kisses him back like they haven't broken up. Since Julian is single again he can do what he wants. Maybe it will be fine again like the old days.

In a blur a girl walks over to me and she starts talking to me but I don't hear it because the alcohol has taken over.  She sits on my lap and starts kissing me. I missed the feeling of kissing and started kissing her back like it was Rosa. We just go on and on until she starts taking me somewhere, in a room. There is a luxurious bed in and in some way I land on it. I feel her climbing on me and she starts kissing me in a slightly different way. I know where she is going. My mind flashes to Rosa but I just keep going. I can't resist this girl. I start kissing her again and throw myself on her. She takes my shirt off and I take hers off. Suddenly I see the door opening and I jump of this girl who I don't even know the name of, I don't think we even talked... It is Julian kissing Olivia fiercely. They stop when they see me half naked with another half naked person. "What the actual fuck are you doing?!" Julian shouts through the room while the girl takes her clothes and sneaks out. "Euhmmm I don't know ask her" I answer because I don't really have anything to say. "You ruined my fucking moment dude!" Olivia says and I can't hold in my laugh because she says it in this stupid and drunk way.  "I don't get why you are doing this to her." Julian says and I stare at my feet. She indeed never did anything to hurt me and all I do now is making sure I am alright and getting what I need and not her. I'm hurting her even if she doesn't know. I already lost count of how many times I fucked another girl just to feel alright. What has happened to me. I glance at my watch and see that I have to be on stage in 5 minutes. "I have to go now."

I jump on stage and play my intro while sitting under the deck. The crowd is going wild and shouting my name. I'm still a little drunk and overwhelmed by my realizations so I hope I will make it through this set.
I've come to the point in the set where I finally have to play some new music, I try to find some but the only thing I can find are Rosa's tracks.  Well she i not going to hear me anyways. I play the track she has been working on since the last time we were in the studio. "Are you guys ready for some unreleased music?!" I shout and the crowd goes crazy. I listen to the lyrics of the song and recognize the voice. It's Rosa singing. She always told she was the worst singer in the world but she was just too scared to try. "Is it just our bodies, are we both losing our minds. Is this the only reason you're holding me tonight 'cause you're scared to be lonely?" The lyrics speak to my heart and a tear rolls down my face as the drop hits. It's like she is watching over me right now and wrote these lyrics.  I can't do this, it hurts too much although I shouldn't be the one who is having pain. I go off stage and run to the bathroom. My manager stops me and asks me what I think I'm doing but I just keep going. I can hear the music stopping and the crowd screaming. I go to sit on the toilet and I can't believe what I've done. I'm just so disappointed in myself. I can hear someone starting to sing the song again, it's Olivia. How does she know the lyrics? Maybe she wrote it...
I see Julian coming in the bathroom but everything is a blur. He pulls me with him back to the stage and he leaves me there with Olivia. I look at the crowd and their faces look stunned. I grab the mic from Olivia's hands and take a deep breath.

"I can't do this anymore. I made some big mistakes the past weeks that I can't turn back. I was trying to do the best for myself while doing the worse for another. I'm sorry." I drop the mic and walk away.

Hey guys I know it's been a while but here you go! I know it is not the best comeback but there is more to come!
Xoxo Puck ➕✖️