Forget You

Leaving

I didn't want to wake up in the morning. I wanted to sleep because I hadn't gotten much last night. But eventually I got too fidgety and had to get up to move around. I went to the library and sat in front of the empty fireplace, staring into the dead coals. I hadn't known that I fell asleep until I woke up later and it was dark out. My neck and back hurt from the awkward sleeping position and I stretched out as I sat up straight.

"You finally slept."

I jumped when Devan spoke and he apologized.

"Why can't you sleep?" He asked me.

"I don't know. I just get restless and feel like I have to get up and move around. I've had that problem all my life, but it's worse since I've been here."

"What have you tried to sleep better?"

"Being really active during the day to make me tired or even if I start to feel drowsy I would make myself stay awake until I can't anymore, and things like that, but they don't work. I still wake up every hour or so."

"I think I know something that will work, but I don't think you'll like it."

"What is it?"

"Sleep with me."

I paused a moment. "I don't know if you're meaning sex or not."

"Not...unless you want to, but no. Just lay with me, cuddle with me and sleep."

I was still hesitant. Just before he was angry at me for running away and now he's being gentle and kind to me. He was confusing me. We've slept together before, and I guess that did work.

"Please?"

I was surprised that he was now asking me to sleep with him.

"Uh... I guess," I answered.

He immediately smiled, but quickly hid it and instead cleared his throat and stood up from where he was crouching next to me. He offered his hand to me and I let him help me to my feet. But when I tried to walk I discovered that my foot was asleep and when I tried to put weight on it, I couldn't feel the floor and ended up falling into Devan who caught me before I fell to the ground.

"Oh my God my foot is dead," I said, staring at it as if it were a strange thing.

"Need help?" Devan laughed.

Before I could answer, he swept me up into his arms. I gasped and quickly wrapped my arms around his neck. He smirked at my surprise and carried me to his room. He set me down on the bed, but he kinda stumbled into the bed at the same time and almost fell on top of me.

"Sorry," He muttered, trying to pick himself up.

But I pulled him down, wrapping myself around him.

He chuckled. "Needy much?"

"I want to sleep. Shush." I lay my head on his shoulder, now being overtaken by my need for sleep more than my want to deny him as much as I could.

"Hey, Scout?" He said quietly.

"Hm?" I didn't bother opening my eyes to see what he wanted. But when he hesitated to respond, I peeked one eye open. "What?"

He exhaled slowly. "Goodnight."

"'Night."

I had a feeling that that wasn't what he had originally wanted to say, but I let it go, allowing myself to relax and fall asleep.

DEVAN'S POINT OF VIEW

I had wanted to say it so badly. I love you. Because I truly did. Even after she ran away, even after she had me completely pissed off, I still loved her. It felt strange, in a good way, to love someone. Of course I loved Melly, because, well, she's my sister, but this was different, and it felt good.

But it means nothing unless she loves me back, which she doesn't. The only feeling she has towards me is hate. She wants to kill me, literally. She still hates that I 'kidnapped her' (which technically I, well, Owen had, but she had been over that), that I tried to kill her (which I would understand why she's not over that), and that I gave her no freedom (which I was afraid to give her). She would run at the first chance she got.

But that is what confused me. She had so many chances to try to kill me, or run away, but she didn't take many of those chances. When Pete tested her aim with the knives, she could have easily just killed me, probably killed Pete right away, and gotten away. But she didn't. Why?

I should just let her go. I should just let her be. She won't be having a relationship with me at all because she hates me. She only wants to get away from me. But I want to keep her. But she's not a toy that I can just have. She's flipped over that before.

I guess I would just do what I think would be best.

In the morning, after not sleeping at all that night, though she did, I waited until she woke up before getting out of bed. After breakfast, I asked her to come talk with me in my office. She was hesitant to follow me, but still did.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

I shook my head. "It's actually very good news for you."

"What is it?" She sounded a bit doubtful that I would have good news for her.

I stared down at my hands as I told her, "You can leave."

She gave me a confused look. "Then what did you want to talk to me about?"

"As in leave the house. You don't have to stay here anymore. You can go where ever you want. You're free to go."

She was shocked by this, but still was happy, which was like a knife to the chest. She thanked me quietly and went to get a bag of things to bring with her. I then drove her into the city, staying silent the whole time. I gave her some money to get a start again, it was enough for a plane ticket and to start off where ever she chose to go, and drove away before she could try to give it back, say thanks, or say goodbye. But most of all before I would take her back with me.