Our Life|| Dan Howell X Reader

The Shoe

As you and Phil are waiting for your taxi, your phone rings in your pocket and you don't know if you have enough courage to answer it. So, you don't even bother to look at the caller ID when you answer it. "Hello?" Your voice is shaky and distant, but you don't care because you have every right to be.

"Y/N?" It's your dad. And you're too shocked to respond. You left off in a fight and you're usually calling him first, because Matt has been calling you nonstop on how horrible dad feels. But, If that were true, your dad would call you himself.

But, you always end up calling him first because you don't want Matt to be upset.

Every. Single. Time.

Your body goes stiff and your mind goes blank. "...Y/N?" He asks again, quiet and hesitant.

You look up at Phil whos staring down at you with a concern look in his face. You must look as shocked as you feel. "...Dad?"

Phil's jaw drops and you have to look away and stare at your feet instead. "Yeah. Hey, Y/N... Uh- Matt told me what happened to Dan. I'm sorry."

You wiped your nose with your sleeve. "He's only missing." You mumbled. "He's not..." You don't have enough strength to dead because, you know, somewhere deep down inside, you know it could be true. "... gone."

There's a long pause of hesitation. "I know my opinion doesn't mean anything to you, I haven't exactly been there..."

Been there?! You want to scream and yell at him but you're too tired so you don't say anything at all. He's been there for Matt, mom, Jay. Everyone but you. What's the sudden change of mind?

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry... and that I really liked- like Dan." He says. You can't help it. Your whole life you've been trying to get through to your father, and him approving of Dan made you smile. Even though you know you really shouldn't care what your dad thinks, you were still happy.

"Me too. I really like him too."

There's an awkward long pause and neither of you speaks. Soon, your taxi pulls up and Phil opens the door for you. "I have to go now."

"Alright. Bye, Y/N."

"Bye, dad."

~Timeskip, brought to you by 3/22/13 MCR *CRIES*~

"His phone." The officer says quietly, handing Phil the cracked screen with the black case.

Phil clicks it on. It's battery is running low but it still works, despise the shattered screen. The time is 9:45pm(American time, sorry), underneath that is Dan's wallpaper. The picture of you, him, and Phil all huddled up on the couch in blankets and sweatshirts is the screen saver.

I remember that. It was the day the heat broke, in the middle of winter, and you had to stay warm by wrapping in blankets and putting on layers of clothing. F/N had just gotten home from the store and you had texted her that the heat broke and you were by Dan and Phils.

As soon as she walked in and saw you three huddled together on the couch like penguins, she laughed hysterically, snapping the picture.

Despite the coldness of that day, it was fun. Now, you can barely see the picture through the cracks. Now, you can barely remember the moment because Dan's gone. The memory his shattered. Just as the picture is.

Phil swallows his tears, as do you, as he shuts it off and shoves the phone in his coat pocket. "Anything else?" Phil mumbles, clearly wanting to leave.

The officer with black, graying hair and violet eyes, the one I talked to the phone, nods. "I need you to identify..." He pulls out a box from the shelf and puts it on the counter in front of you and Phil. "This shoe and jacket."

You bite your lip, slowly reaching into the box to grip the shoe and take it out to examine it. It's black, of course. You grip the shoe tightly, squeezing your eyes shut. You swallow your sobs, taking a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. "... Ma'am"

You nod, opening your eyes. "Yeah." You choke out. "It's his." As was the jacket was also his. His wallet in the jacket pocket. They couldn't identify the wallet because it only had money in it. Classic Dan, leaving his ID and card at home.  

"That's all." The officer takes the box, putting it back on the shelf before writing DAN HOWELL on the side with a black sharpie. "Thanks. We'll call you with any information we find out."

Both you and Phil hesitated, that's it?

Phil grabs your arm and pulls you along, as he walks towards the exit. "We'll find him." The officer says. You turn around and he's smiling sadly. "I promise."

You smile sadly back at him. "Thank you." Phil speaks before leading you out of the building once again.

You take a deep breath, shoving your hands in your pockets as the cold air nips at your nose. "Can we walk?" Phil asks, looking down at you.

"Yeah." You nodded, smiling weakly at him. "I don't want to tell the Howell's that they have nothing on where he is."

Phil nods. "You read my mind."

You walk side by side, shoulder to shoulder, in the dark. There are a few street lights but mostly it's pitch black. You take a deep breath, watching your breath in the cold air. You walk in a comfortable silence. Phil's probably thinking about him, but you're trying not to.

It hurts too much.

"Hey Phil-" You look up at him and he gasps as he looks down at you.

"Y/N!"

Before you can question why he's yelling, there's a sharp pain in the back your head. The world goes blurry as the ground gets closer and closer to your face. You're falling. And then... everything goes black.

~~~

OK, sorry for that shitty ending. Also, I got a laptop and I'm using that instead of my phone and it is WERID. so sorry for spelling errors and such. AND, YEP. Its March 22nd. The day the music died. The day My Chemical Romance broke up, four years ago. I'm sorry... So sososososoos sorry.... *sobs in dark corner* Anyways... y'all have a good day. Love you guys, thanks for reading,

~Hazel