rambles about space

31 6 3
                                    

*tw: black hole mention, drowning mention, struggling marine life mention*

i think it says a lot about me
that i would rather sail amongst the stars
than step foot in the ocean.

i would rather be swallowed
by a black hole than drown.
i would rather know the secrets
of a planet-swallowing,
star-consuming hole,
than witness what lies beneath
the surface of the sea.

i see beauty in supernovas,
in gigantuan fiery stars slowly
collapsing in on themselves.

i like to admire the sea,
but my thoughts drift to the feeling
of salt burning my eyes
and monsters roaming at my feet.

constellations can bring tears to my eyes.
i dream of seeing the earth
grow smaller,
of looking at galaxies up close.

i feel deeply for marine life.
for sea turtles venturing alone across beaches,
whales breaching and dancing
before falling back to the sea,
of sharks swimming without stopping, - beautiful creatures often misunderstood -
sting rays gliding across the sea floor,
coral reefs struggling to survive.

and i see beauty in the way
the crystal blue water glimmers in the sun,
with sea foam and seashells
lining the shores,

but i am unable to swim.

my head has long since floated above the earth's atmosphere
and i yearn to get it back,
gazing at the stars each night in search of it.

the cosmos bring comfort to me in ways the treacherous yet stunning ocean never will.

both are vast and barely understood
but i'm so afraid of drowning
so afraid of everything we have yet to find lurking in the depths of the deep blue sea
that, somehow, in my idiosyncratic mind,
space - with dark matter,
exploding stars, and light-swallowing nothingness - seems safer.

maybe i am meant to be amongst the stars.

i see myself in them
wishing to be big and bright,
and being bright, radiating light,
but bearing a soul so heavy,
that the star collapses.

a star with enough light to outshine galaxies
but light which comes at the cost of death.

maybe we're all supernovas
meant to be bright and
containing so much light,
but exploding in the end.
collapsing in the end.

maybe some of us are meant for the sea
but i know the sea is not meant for me.

my head and heart long to be part of
a constellation, and my body is
composed of stardust,
longing to come home.

i think it says a lot about me
that i would rather sail amongst the stars
than step foot in the ocean.
i am a supernova.
i am made of stardust.
i would rather be swallowed
by a black hole
than drown in the sea.

recycled poetryWhere stories live. Discover now