lingering

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when i'm alone, sometimes,
i'm hit by this overwhelming
sense of sudden sadness
reminding me that there's
always this underlying
unhappiness that i'm
constantly suppressing
and even when i'm happy
it's there, deep inside,
in the back of my mind
and my heart, just waiting
to be released at random
i'm never going to be okay
i'm never going to be fully
truly happy
when there's this sadness
lying inside me
brewing like storm clouds

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