recycled poetry

wizard of oz

*tw: swears, violence, daddy issues, intense anger, sadness*

you tear hearts out of chests
without hesitation.
before, i wondered why,
but i think that i know now:
you don't have one.

you're a tin man made of cold metal,
with carnage in your wake,
and you kill and you kill and you kill
and you don't feel a thing.

these hearts won't fit in your chest and
the longer you squeeze them the more
they ache — you're destroying people.
and i think you know it.

you spin your lies and weave your
tales and you feign emotions but
i know the truth about what you've done, about what you are.

i keep trying to picture a heart buried deep
inside you somewhere but it's far-fetched
and i'm running out of reasons to believe.

i want to rip your heart out and burn it
but there is nothing for me to take
and i'm not as cruel as i would like to be

you've torn mine from time to time.
and then? oh, you've broken them
so much that they're shoved over
the edge, broken and unable to trust
and unable to make good decisions.

a bitter poison has filled these shredded
hearts, mine included.
they are sour and bitter and full of rage.
i am full of rage.

i wish i could shout to the world the truths
you will never have the courage to tell
and show how fake you truly are.

maybe you're the wizard instead.

maybe you're the wizard
because you're a liar
and you're the tin man
because you're heartless
and you're the lion
because you're a
goddamned coward
and maybe you're the scarecrow
because you never use your
fucking head correctly

and maybe i'm dorothy and no matter
how many times i click my heels when
i'm with you i'm never brought back home.

you caused this tornado and you
started this drama and you've broken
more people than you can count.
i'm not sure how i can face you.

"who am i speaking to today?"
i would ask, if i was brave and i was cruel,
"the heartless tin man, the dumbass scarecrow, the cowardly lion, or the lying wizard?"

i would shout the truth to all that would hear:
"he's been lying the whole time! he's a fraud!
he's a manipulative cheater!"

but i can't
at least, until the opportunity
and the courage present
themselves.

for now i'm loathing you in all of your forms
and sobbing as i see how much you've broken her. how much she didn't deserve it.
how much you've broken the two of them.
they're not "crazy" as you so-kindly love to
put it whilst gossiping. they're fucking hurt
by you. i wonder why.

i'm home, now, but tomorrow i won't be,
and my ruby slippers are broken and i don't
know who you are and i wish i could be the
wicked witch of the west instead.

we did not deserve to hear
your relationship drama.
she did not deserve to be accused of
fucking things up.
this is not a trial. this is not spreading
fucking rumors in high school.

we did not deserve for you to
leave the way you did.
she did not deserve the cheating and
the lying and the manipulating and
the half-assed apologies and all of
the excruciating indecision.
she does not deserve to take the blame.

you're a heartless, lying coward
with a mind full of junk
and i find myself hoping every day
that i'm nothing like you
when i leave oz and grow up —
the latter, something you seem
to be incapable of doing, despite
being a fucking adult.

i hope we all fly away from this phony
world you've created.
i hope that our broomsticks carry us so high
that we're too far away to care anymore.

this is too much.
you're too much.

you've made her life a living hell
and i'm waiting for karma to
bite you in your ass, but if it
doesn't hurry up, i will.

this sure as hell isn't kansas.