maybe the next part of healing
is letting myself be soft
letting myself forgive
but i can't.
all of these poets say it —
let yourself be soft.
when i am soft i am
vulnerable
when i am soft i am
so soft
that everything
breaks me
apart
when i am soft i am
so soft
that i am easily
molded
i do not want to bend
myself for someone
i do not want to
be bent by
hands that do not
deserve to touch me
i am soft but i have been
sharpened and hardened
for the better, for my safety.
those who are soft are stepped
on like fresh gum on the pavement.
i have been too soft for my liking
i have been stepped on like gum
and molded like clay. it has made
me colder. it has made me stronger.
the solution to saving myself
is not to be softer
i will be soft no longer
i will protect myself and i will
only be soft when i want to and i
will protect my softness by being
cold
i will be independent and i will
be prepared for battle
maybe i will not ever fully heal
but i am young.
i am beginning my healing young
and i have so much time.
maybe the poets are right.
they are older and wiser, after all.
or, perhaps, they do not understand.
perhaps old-ness and wise-ness
do not always go hand in hand.
they are soft and bendable
like the spines of their soft cover books.
i will not be
my words are full of venom
and full of truth and full of me
and i am strong and i am not
as soft as i once was
when i stuck to the ground
and let everyone walk over me.
the footprints have faded
and i am recreating myself.
i am healing in the way that
i have decided is right for me,
not in the way the poets say,
as right as they may be.
i will not forgive those who
are not worthy
i will not become soft so
i can be stepped on
and molded and bent
and changed and destroyed
like pottery and chewing gum
and the spines of books.
i will heal
without being
soft
i will heal
without leaving myself
defenseless
i will heal
without listening to
every word
they have written
i will heal
on my own
accord
i will heal
i will heal
i will heal
i will be soft
but not so soft
that i can be
taken advantage
of.
YOU ARE READING
recycled poetry
Poetry❝i wish i was writing something special, but these words have been used before and there's no originality to it at all. i'm just reusing phrases until they're worn out, like musty library books or hand-me-down clothes.❞ from ❛hand-me-down poetry❜ i...
