i don't want love.
i never have, not really.
i've been asked out many times,
by boys and girls alike,
and each time is torturous.
my heart rate quickens
i panic. i despair.
i feel like my heart is going
to beat out of my chest
and i feel so guilty for
not reciprocating feelings.
love, to me, is my future.
these next few years are
for me and me alone
learning about myself and
who i want to become
trying to love myself more.
i don't want love.
i don't want hand holding
and movie watching
and small smiles and
kisses and compliments.
i don't want the obligation
of loving someone else correctly
and making sure i'm being
loved right.
i have too much on my
mind to be tied down.
i have so many ambitions
and my mind is buzzing
with dreams that i'm
going to personify.
i know that i'm supposed
to want a fairy tale
and, sometimes,
i almost believe that i do,
but at the end of the day,
if i had that now
i wouldn't want it.
i'm not a princess.
if anything, i'm a dragon.
able to create raging fires at will,
perfectly content with solitude,
and not to be messed with.
(hearing these words in my head as i type
makes me want to delete them, but some truths need to be said. i keep mine so far inside myself that they've lit themselves aflame. these poems are on fire as the words leave my head, and as you see them now they are simply ashes.)
YOU ARE READING
recycled poetry
Poetry❝i wish i was writing something special, but these words have been used before and there's no originality to it at all. i'm just reusing phrases until they're worn out, like musty library books or hand-me-down clothes.❞ from ❛hand-me-down poetry❜ i...
