Fight the Feelings

High Expectations

 Sarah P.O.V

Lets just say there have been better weeks than this last one. Its been one week since Fifty's party and I haven't spoken to Marshall, I have only spoken to Fifty to tell him I really enjoyed it, even though I was lying to him.

Marshall has tried calling a few times but since I have the boys this week I have been declining, knowing that this week is all about being a mother and waiting for next week to turn back into that insecure lonely woman, he referred me to. I know I said for him to forget about it when he tried apologising, I just didn't want to hear all the excuses he would have come up with. So instead I have decided from now on I am only going to focus on being a mother, my career and getting over any issues before I head straight back into the spotlight.

I guess I really don't know how to feel about what happened last week with Marshall, there was one side that just wanted to hate him and forget about him, than there was the other side that feels sorry for him and already forgives him on his actions, since it would have been really hard for him to be there that night and not give in to taking the drugs.

My manager has recently been on my back about going back into the spotlight, she thinks since i am going to release another album at the end of the year that i should get back to showing my face around and that I have had enough time off. She doesnt know a lot about my insecurities, she just knows that i have some but she doesnt understand how deep they go, so that means I have to continue dealing with these problems alone, but I'm not going to let them win, I will overcome these dam issues one day I just need to continue working them out.

"AGAIN!" my dance teacher Marrissa screamed as soon as we finished like our fifth reheasal of singles ladies. My manager has it in her head that i need to fix my body and dance moves before I release my album, somehow she already knows that I am going to have dance beats on it.

" Can we take a break?" I huffed trying to catch my breath while looking back at the other dancers who also looked dead. This has been my normal routine for the past couple of days, when the boys go to school I head here to my dance studio/ music studio.

" Fine, 5 minutes max" Marrissa replied looking very annyoyed that I even asked her to take a break, since she is friends with  my manager Christine she also thinks we are all robots and dont need water breaks. I feel sorry for my backup dancers, they have to go through all this torture just so i can get fit an get a better body, but as i am looking at them they seem pretty distracted and excited about something.

" whats going on?' I asked walking over to them after seeing them mucking around, luckily they dont seem that bothered about doing on this dancing for not apparent reason, it was just to satisfy my manager Christine.

" one of the girls just saw Eminem outside the studio" one of the girls giggled, looking all excited like a school girl who has just been noticed by the popular boy. As soon as I hear his name I start to wonder why he is here? Why has he come to see me? For an actual second I actually start to believe he is here for someone else like one of the back up dancers, since they are more his type and more the age he goes for.

" OMG there he is, I wonder why he is here?" another dancer said as they all turned to the entry door, still giggling like teenagers, well i guess they are still kind of teenagers compared to me, since they are only in their 20's. Turning round and following their gaze, I quickly spot him standing there looking straight at me, before giving me a quick nod to follow him outside. I guess he is here to see me and not one of my younger dancers. I have to admit it does feel kind of good hearing all the girls getting a tad jealous when they realise he is here for me, but making my way closer to the doorr I spot my manger in the corner giving me the evil eye.