Fight the Feelings

Over

" so makeup and hair will begin At 9 am sharp, okay" Christine yelled while hitting the coffee table to get my attention.

" okay, okay I'll be there" I replied after being startled by her Annoying self. It's about 10 pm the night before the shooting of the music video and of course Christine is on my back making sure nothing is going to go wrong.

It's been a whole week since Marshall and I had that awkward moment at his house and just like he said, no phone calls or text messages have been exchanged between us. It's like everything we have shared and been through has been thrown down the drain.

I honestly don't know if he's ignoring me because he's still grieving or if he has to because of Kim. Like I'm totally fine if they are back together but he can't just leave me out to dry like this, without having and idea which way it's heading.

I pushed Christine out after a while since I couldn't stand her annoying voice any longer and I knew I needed some rest before tomorrow's shoot.

I'm hoping to talk to Marshall tomorrow and see what's going on, and if what we had is over and If I should forget about us.

Marshall p.o.v

"And cut!!!! Well done guys" the director screamed after Ashley and I lip synched and put on a brave face while filming the chorus scene together.

It's nearly 7 pm and we've been here all day working hard to get these shots right . Luckily majority of the scene were by myself because I don't think I could have stand the tension between Ashley and I for much longer.

To everyone that didn't really know us, we seemed like two celebrities busy collaborating together but sticking to ourselves, but to everyone that does know us you can see something was majorly wrong and going on between us.

We only really swopped a couple of words which was basically greeting each other at the start of the day, other than that we stuck mostly to our own entourage.

This isn't how it was planned, we had organized to go grab dinner after and everything, but instead we're here barely being able to look at each other.

I know a lot is my fault and trust me I feel guilty about the way I have been ignoring her, but since my aunt died a lot has changed in my family. Kim is like staying over every night helping with the girls and helping me move past this awful time. I know this isn't unusual for us, but once again we are going to try and make it work between us. There's no doubt I don't love her, and just being with her this last week has showed me how much I actually have missed her.

" you know you're going to have to talk to me soon" I said taking a seat beside Ashley after spotting her for once without her manager. As always she looks tired and exhausted from all the stress Christine makes.

" really! Because I swear you are the one ignoring me" she rudely commented back, making me chuckle softly at her attitude. Trust me as much as Ashley is sweet and Kind, I hate being in arguments with her.

" I guess I had that one coming" I comment, knowing very well she has every right to be angry at me. From past experiences I know very well not to argue with her, unless you want to get burnt.

" can we just talk about this?" I asked remaining calm and collected. The conversation in hoping to have needs to be done when we both are calm and not biting each other's heads of.

" sure" was all she said, turning slightly more to face. I guess she thought I wanted to talk out here while being surrounded by her entourage, but I actually want and need a more private area where I know no one will be ears dropping.

" I was hoping somewhere more private, maybe your trailer or something" I said quietly hoping she gets my drift quickly. We both know if we were to talk out here, our conversation would be in headlines in tomorrow's magazines.

Thankfully she understood what I was trying to say and casually got up from her seat and walked towards her trailer as I followed along.

I don't really care if anyone find me entering her trailer suspicious, I really need some alone time with Ashley, I guess the only person we had to worry about was Christine but luckily she was ordering someone around and didn't see me slip In to her trailer.

" I'm sorry" was all I said after Ashley took a seat on the small lounge while I decided to stay standing. This is probably one of the hardest conversation I'm about to have.

" I'm sorry..... I've been ignoring you these last couple of days" I continued being as sincere as I possibly can.

" understandable, you've been grieving" she said back. Fuck why the hell does she have to be so nice and always see the best in people. Here she thinks I've been ignoring her because I'm grieving but it's only because Kim and I are back together and she doesn't want me to see Ashley anymore.

I quietly agreed with her comment knowing It's a lie, right before the silence began to take over as I tried to figure out what to say to her.

" so...... Kim and I are back together" I just blurted out after having a moment of confidence rush through me. Looking at her I was expecting to see some shock come in her face, but instead she just sat looking at me with the same hurt and sad face she has been displaying all day.

" I figured that" was her replied, as she coldly looked at me. Okay so I'm guessing she knows more than I thought, which I don't know if it's a good thing or bad.

" which mean we have to end whatever was going on between us" I continued, Using my hands to show her since I honestly still don't know what this is myself. We aren't fuck buddies because that's usually means having sex with no emotion which clearly was seen and felt a lot between Ashley and I.

"I figured that also" she replied again, not bothering to say anything else because she's either to angry or she's too upset but afraid to admit it.

" well we both knew this would end one day" I said trying to justify me ending our little agreement and fling between us. I honestly thought it was only going to happen a couple of times but it's been a couple of months and I've explored and seen more of her than any of my other flings I have had.

" no you're right, and I wish you and Kim the best of luck. She's really lucky to have a guy like you" she said, this time sounding more understanding of my situation. It's like she saw that I really want this to work for Kim and I especially for my girls.

" thanks..... Besides it's not like we still can't be friends" I suggested sounding more happy she was getting everything now and wasn't blaming me or hating me.

" we both know we can't be friends Marshall..... Kim would hate that" she said, it's like she could see right through me and knew very well that Kim doesn't want me associating at all with Ashley. Which in a way it's going to be hard since I've become really close with her, but if I want to make this work I have to sacrifice a few things including my connection with Ashley unless it involves work .

" maybe in the future we can..... But right now I just......" I began saying trying to explain why we can't be friends, but before I could finish Ashley interrupted me.

" don't worry I totally understand and I wish you the best of luck" she said, once again wishing me luck in having anther shot with Kim. This is why Ashley is probably the nicest person I've met, she's so considerate of others and just want them to be happy.

" you know you're going to find someone ash, who ticks all the right boxes and swear you'll make him the happiest dude Alive" I smiled complimenting her. I hope she finds someone that treats her the way she should be treated, because out of everyone she deserves it the most after all the crap she's been through.

As much as I tried for it not to be awkward I just couldn't stop it. So instead of sitting around glancing randomly at each other We tried to ignore each other as much as possible during he rest of the video shoot. At the end I was kind of sad knowing I'm not going to see her anymore or wake up to her, but I guess I should look at the positive which is getting my family back on track.

Really short crap chapter, two parts to it:)

Enjoy