Fight the Feelings

Surprise trip

Ashley p.o.v

" Ashley you're on in 40 mins" my stylist sandy told me quietly while knocking on my door indicating I'm due on tv soon to do some stupid interview.

I hate what I'm wearing, well I don't hate the outfit I just hate how it looks on me. Once again my insecurities are running high and my self esteem seems to be shot down. Right now I'm standing in front of a mirror taking the piss out on me, planting every mean comment I can think about myself. I hate how insecure and self conscious I become but I just can't seem to pull out of it. So instead I just keep hooking up with random dudes because I know for one night they are going to make me feel good about myself even if it is just to get in my pants, for this one night I might not hate myself as much.

I know I spiraled down hill since Marshall left, I know we weren't technically anything but friends who fucked but I still remember the way he treated me and how he actually seemed to care about me. All his passion and kindness was really making me feel good about myself again and getting my confidence back, but when he left to go back to Kim that's when I realized I wasn't anything special and he just used me for sex. I'm not good enough for him and I never will be, that's why he chose to go back home. He liked having sex with me and using me, but that's about it.

Looking back I can't get over how stupid I was to actually listen to his sweet comments and words and actually believe him. He manipulated me to thinking I wasn't as bad as what my ex made me out to be and that I could do so much more without Christine, but now I know they were all lies just to get me Into bed and hooked in his little scheme.

Which of cause I fell for this, That's why I'm standing here broken hearted knowing tonight is going to be another I fuck some random, just to take my mind of Marshall and for a few hours feel better about myself.

Marshall p.o.v

Having the issue of Kim and I was finally out and working it self out as we speak. We didn't hold back on telling our kids and it's been nearly a month later and things were still working it self out.

Kim and I finally accepted that we aren't good for each other and now we are both trying to work on ourselves before we even think of talking and becoming friends again.

But it's not like I have time these days since my album was finally out everything was happening.

" so have you spoken to Ashley yet?" Royce asked following me as we walked through my studio. Ever since I stupidly told him that I ended things with Kim and want to fix things with Ashley he has been on my back non stop, making sure I stick to my word.

" no like I said, she isn't answering my calls and is refusing to speak to me" I explained sadly knowing I've tried Ashley a few times but only get her answering machine and Christine's irritating voice telling me she doesn't want to speak to me.

I can just imagine now the things Christine is probably brainwashing her with about me and about things in general. But clearly she doesn't want to see me, and as much as I hate it I should respect her privacy.

" so, try again Marshall! Try a different approach" Royce said looking quite stunned I have just given up like this. Trust me I usually would do everything I could to speak to her, but since I have already hurt her like crazy I don't want to do add fuel to the fire.

" look Royce. I tried okay nothing else I can do. So drop it!" I yelled not noticing how angry I sound until the words leave my mouth. You would think Royce might get a little frighten, but not once does he flinch.

" fine I'll drop it! But I'm pretty sure your giving up to easily and I don't think it's because you just can't get her to listen, I know there is another reason" he just replied before beginning to walk away. I took a few seconds for me to even absorb his words but after I did, immediately I Become curious to what he's trying to say.