Special Alice (Gakuen Alice / Alice Academy FF)

SA 5 - Mikan's Senpai

{Misaki}

Natsume and I should probably go to the Dangerous Ability Class right now, but here we are, hiding behind bushes and leaning on a tree.

"Natsume," I started, taking a deep breath to gather my courage. "I noticed that you kept looking at me. I wonder why." I laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"Nothing," he replied curtly, but I could tell there was something more on his mind.

"It looks like you've always wanted to tell me something," I added, my voice filled with curiosity. Silence hung in the air for a moment. I tucked my legs close to my chest, not worrying about my undergarments since I always wore shorts underneath.

I'll admit that, initially, I felt uneasy around Natsume, given his dangerous reputation. However, with his presence beside me now, I felt an unexpected sense of safety. It was as if all my worries were washed away. Maybe he isn't as bad as the rumors make him out to be. There might be a softer side to him, if I'm not mistaken.

"Looking at you makes me feel better," I heard him whisper, his voice so close that it startled me. I hadn't even noticed that I'd inched closer to him.

"What?" I exclaimed, surprised by his confession. He pulled away slightly and averted his gaze, looking up at the sky.

"Baka," he mumbled, frustration in his tone. I pouted and scoffed, "Me? Tsk."

He glanced at me with that same serious expression and then looked away. "Say, Natsume, I'm quite nervous about the Dangerous Ability Class. I don't know what to do there," I confessed, fiddling with my hands and sighing.

Feeling overwhelmed by his presence, I couldn't help but spill my intrusive thoughts that piled up ever since I stepped foot in this academy. I haven't shared these to Mikan nor Hotaru just yet.

"Adjusting is pretty hard. Meeting new people is hard. Getting along and trying to understand them is hard. Everything is so hard. Sometimes, I just want to go back to being a shut-in," I said, laughing bitterly, gazing up at the night sky.

"Maybe this kind of life doesn't suit me. I just want someone to be there for me, even when it gets tough. I hope I won't lose the people who have become my friends, because if that happens, I'm not sure I can handle it," I admitted, rubbing away the moisture threatening to spill from my eyes.

He remained silent, attentively listening to my words. "I'm scared of being alone. I've been alone for most of my life. I've always wanted to feel loved by others, aside from my mom, my instructors, and our maids. But it's hard," I sighed, revealing my inner fears and insecurities.

"Why are you telling this to me?" Natsume asked, his tone inscrutable. I took a deep breath and offered him a genuine smile.

"Because I want to be friends with Natsume. I feel that you're special to me, even though we barely talk with each other. I acknowledge now that I feel safe and comfortable around you," I explained happily. " But you were very annoying and frustrating at first..." I muttered along. I'm sure he heard it too. To my surprise, his reaction was not as cold or distant as I expected.

"Let's go. I'll guide you through the Dangerous Ability Class," he said, getting up and beginning to walk. His tone was nonchalant, but I sensed a willingness to open up in his actions. I was thankful that he didn't push me away or leave when I shared my feelings with him.

I got up and followed him as we walked. "Why are you there?" he asked, keeping his hands in his pockets. I couldn't quite understand his meaning, so I replied, "I'm following you, of course."

"What I mean is, why are you walking behind me?" he clarified, his expression still unreadable.

I was puzzled by his question. "Because I don't know the way?" I replied, my confusion apparent. I heard him scoff. Suddenly, he reached out and took my left hand, pulling me closer to his side and holding my hand tightly.