VANESSA'S POINT OF VIEW
So what? Hindi ko naman inaasahan na ako ang piliin niya eh. Hindi naman ako mamamatay kung hindi ako ang pinili niya eh. At lalong wala akong pakialam kahit ako man o hindi ang piliin niya.
Pero anong drama 'to? Bakit naiinis ako? Ba't sobrang apektado ako na hindi ako ang pinili?
Dahil masakit malaman na hindi ikaw ang taong pinili. Akala mo ikaw na, may iba pa pala. You're just an option, never the choice.
But an option is also a choice right? You will never be an option if you're not considered as a choice.
Tch. Stop this nonsense.
I'm so exhausted. All I wanna do is to lay down on my bed and close my eyes.
Forget all that had happened today. From the swimming pool, to snack time, to that weird chicken dance of him, and to that freaking question. Forget his eyes that glared you, those arms that held you, and those soft hands that touched you.
WAIT, WHAT?
AAAHHHH! You're insane Vanessa. Totally out of your mind.
Suddenly, my phone rang. I am too lazy to even get it from the side table but I have to. It flashed an unregistered number.
I don't care anymore, I answered it.
"Hello? Who's this?" I'm getting a little sleepy now.
"Vanessa?"
"Speaking. Who is this?"
"Kinalimutan mo na ba talaga ako? You didn't even recognize my voice on the phone."
"Sorry. Who are you?" I'm having an idea kung sino 'to but maybe I'm just spacing out. Tss. Bakit naman siya tatawag 'diba?
"Greg."
Like a flash, napatayo ako mula sa pagkahiga. Akala ko inaantok lang ako. At akala ko akala ko lang na siya 'yon.
Why would he call? What does he want? Me?
Oh please, Vanessa. Forget him already and stop flirting.
"How'd you get my number?"
"I have my own ways. Matagal na kitang gustong makausap but I wasn't able to. Nang na-ospital ka, hindi ako hinayaan na makalapit—-"
"Malamang. Sino ba magpapalapit ng virus na lalong magpapalala ng kondisyon ko? Ibababa ko na. Bye—-"
"Wait! Hold up. Hindi kita makausap sa school. Please, kahit dito man lang sana, makausap kita. Marami akong gustong ipaliwanag—-"
"Ayoko marinig. Tapos na lahat. Wala nang mababago. Isa pa, buti sana kung hindi mo sinasadya. Kaso, wala eh. Planado. Well-planned. I'm going off. Don't call again. Please, huwag mo na kong guluhin."
" Fine. But you have to hear these words."
Vanessa, please. Huwag mo nang pakinggan. Put down that phone.
Don't hurt yourself. Hindi ka pa nga nakaka-move on tapos...
" I have loved you and I still love you." after that, I ended the call. I erased his number immediately.
Good. The wall I've built up, collapsed.
Ayoko man pero kusa nang tumulo ang luha ko. Matapos ang lahat, ganito? Tatawag na lang siya at sasabihing mahal niya pa rin ako? Nahihibang ba siya? Kasi ako, oo!
I do too, Greg. I still love you.
I tried to find comfort to these pillows to cover up this misery. But it turned out like I was prohibiting myself from breathing.
