Loveless♣

Chapter 40

  She tapped the blade of the knife on her palm repeatedly.She was standing in the kitchen,facing the sink.Joshua was on the other side,preparing something. She didn't know what.She didn't ask either.They hadn't spoken since he dropped off her laundered clothes on his bed and left her.
There was a certain kind of aura around him that Bella did not understand. Most of the time when Joshua was mad at her,she always felt like it was temporary,like he'd come around later on.
Now he was just...hostile.
Almost as if he wanted her gone.
She shrugged inwardly.She couldn't blame him.She was a problem...but she was the only solution.
It was one of the things her aunt had taught her.
I am my problem,but I am my solution.
She smirked as she thought about her aunt.
The poor woman had freaked out when she saw Isabella cutting her hair.She probably thought Bella had lost her bearings.
Bella had cut her hair once before when she was a child,much to the shock of her aunt.It was on the day she'd left France.She'd done it to signify the loss of something she'd valued.
Her family.
Now she'd done it again,to get rid of the deep pain and weakness she'd been feeling.
To get rid of the emotions.
She felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her weary shoulders.
Her chest felt cold internally,like it was missing something.
Maybe her heart.
She lifted the knife to face level and gazed at the blurry image of her reflection formed on the shiny surface of the knife.
She raked her fingers through her now short hair.Some parts of it fell,ruffled, across her face.
She smirked again.
I still look good in chopped hair.
Heck,I'd look good in anything.
Joshua was watching her.Why was she smiling at a knife?Had she gone nuts?
He shook his head.
She's finally lost it.
He took a bite of his sandwich,then grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen counter and his backpack.
She lowered the knife,and frowned when she saw him leaving.
"Where are you going?"she asked.
He stopped at the door and looked at her.
"School," he replied easily,shrugging.
She scoffed. "You're kidding,right?"
"Uh..why would I joke about that?"
She was silent.
"Is there a problem?"
She glared at him steadily.
"I see you've lost your ability to speak." He checked his watch."Well,I'll be back by four.Or five,"he shrugged again. "I've missed a lot of classes because of a certain someone and I'd like to catch up.Oh,and make sure you clean up that mess in the bathroom before I return."
Bella nearly flung the knife at him.Her eyes were narrowed to slits,and she kept spinning the knife between her fingers.She badly wanted to aim it at head,but she took a deep breath instead.
"Fine.Go."
"Right."He walked out,but turned around before he reached the front door.He made his way back to the kitchen and looked straight at her."Do. Not. Leave,Isabella.Am I understood?We would not want your stubbornness to earn you the same position as your dog."
That was it.
Bella sucked in a sharp breath,drew her hands backwards and thrust the knife as hard as she could.It whizzed past his ear and stabbed the wall,impaling the wood as it did.
The impact made Joshua dodge so quickly,he nearly hit his head against the edge of the doorjamb.
He looked at her in utter stupefaction,his heart racing as rapidly as a rushing stream.
A shadow of satisfaction crossed her angry face as she advanced towards him.
She stopped."Never talk to me like that,or speak ill of Miguel.You don't know what I'm capable of,Joshua,neither do you know who I am."
Then she walked away.

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They sat together,their arms in very different positions but their faces bearing the same expression.
They looked dazed.Stunned,is more like it.
Stunned and exhausted, but more of the former than the latter.Except,of course,you count being mentally drained as exhausted. Then they'd be feeling both in equal quantities.
Joshua,staring forward,said,"You go first."
Emiko,seated on Joshua's right,his gaze also fixed forward,replied,"No,you go first."
Joshua gave a wry laugh."Man,I'd bet on my life that mine is way worse than yours so you go first."
Emiko frowned."Um..," he swallowed, "Nina met one of Fantasia's girls."
Joshua's eyes widened."Holy shit.Does she-"
"No no,she doesn't know that," Emiko answered quickly,then sighed."But,uh,she knows Aaliya and I had sex."
Joshua frowned deeply,and turned slightly to look at Emiko. "You fucked that skinny little bitch?"
Emiko's jaw clenched in anger."Had to,J,I just had to.The bitch blackmailed me.Either I slept with her or she'd show Lady Fantasia the pictures she'd taken of Nina and I and yunno what'd happen if the Lady finds out bout Nina."
"What the flying fuck," Joshua muttered softly and ran a hand over his face."Fantasia cannot know about Nina.Nina's in enough danger as it is."
Emiko whipped his head to face his friend."What?"
Joshua sighed deeply.
"Told you mine was worse," he said,shaking his head."Doesn't it astound you how one person can just waltz into your life and turn it completely upsidedown?Like your whole life used to be one normal cycle,then someone comes along and jumbles it up.It just..."he shook his head."It baffles me."
Emiko faced forward and sighed."I wish I couldn't relate with that,but sadly I can."
Joshua paused for a long moment,his hand hooked around his chin.
"I wanna blame you,you know,"he said.
Emiko leaned backwards in his chair."Go ahead,man."
"I really really wanna blame you," Joshua sighed."But I can't."
Emiko chuckled."Why not?Heck,I blame myself."
"I thought to myself,if Emiko hadn't said,'Hey,Josh,wanna make some quick bucks?I know two girls that need tutors and they're loaded',we wouldn't be in this position." Joshua put his chin on his palm.
Emiko chuckled."No,man,you don't wish I hadn't said that.Let's be honest,you wish you hadn't said yes.I mean,I wish I hadn't said yes to Nina either.You know I almost missed her call that day? "
"No kidding."
"The call she made to ask for my services as a tutor.Very nearly missed it.We were watching a match,remember?You were still reeling because crazy little Penelope had caused a racket at school when you gently informed her that you needed a break from that goddamned relationship.You even said I shouldn't pick the call cos Chelsea was in the lead and you were finally in a good mood.You thought it was Penelope."
"And you just had to pick it,didn't you?Think about it,if you hadn't picked,we'd probably still be two normal men without constant headaches because of them."
Emiko laughed again."You sound so pained,though.What'd she do this time?"
"She nearly cracked my skull with a knife!" Joshua told him,lifting his hands in the air and dropping it in exasperation.
Emiko scoffed."Don't be so dramatic, Josh.That can't be true."
Joshua turned to glare at him."Do I look like I'm being dramatic?The knife is stuck to my wall as we speak!She's lost it,I tell you!Cut her hair and shit!And,damn,she looks good.I'm telling you,it should be a sin to look that good every time.That girl's getting harder and harder to resist everyday."
"She cut her hair and she's throwing knives?Are you sure she's not really insane,J?"Emiko asked,looking very concerned.
Joshua sighed."I dunno,man..and if she was,I wouldn't blame her.That girl has been through a lot of bullcrap.Worst part is,she keeps acting like she's strong..like she can handle anything,when its clear to see that the girl needs help!My help!And when I try to help her,she throws knives at my head,can you believe it?All I've ever done is help her..I took her into my home,bathed her,protected her from the thousands of bullets that have her name written on it,helped her rescue an injured boy at the risk of getting shot and-"
"Whoa whoa whoa...slow down. You bathed Isabella?"
Joshua frowned."Ugh,is that all you heard,man?Yes,I bathed her.And let me tell you,it was not easy at all.It's bad enough that she's gorgeous while fully clothed, but to see her naked...I just..."his voice trailed off.
"Damn," Emiko breathed."Why's Bella in your house?And what do you mean there are bullets with her name on em?What's going on,J?"
Joshua sighed deeply. "It's a long story,Emiko."
Emiko turned to face him fully."Shoot."
Joshua took a deep breath and began to narrate.