Loveless♣

Niniola

   NINA opened the door and stepped into the house.She locked it back,turned around and was stunned.Sitting at the table was her entire family.Grandmother Margaret included.They all wore looks of disapproval on their faces.
All except Peyton,who looked gloriously beautiful,as always.
She grinned at Nina.
Nina smiled back nervously and walked to the family table where they were all seated.She took an empty seat beside her sister,and scanned the table.There was her father,looking as blonde and as handsome as ever.Peyton had gotten her good looks from him.
Growing up,everyone had compared Nina and Peyton or,in other terms,they'd used Peyton as a measuring stick for Nina.
"Oh look,Nina is almost as tall as Peyton now."
"Hey,Nina,will you go to the same college as Peyton and be a doctor like her?"
"Nina,when will you stop eating so much?Look,you're three times the size of Peyton."
  Surprisingly,all the comparisons never made her hate Peyton.Instead, she adored her.Peyton was so different from her.Peyton was perfect.She was fair-skinned like their father,not dark-skinned like Nina was.Although Nina had beautiful caramel skin,compared to Peyton's cream coloured skin,it was considered too dark.Peyton also had curly black locks,while Nina's was thick and full and undoubtedly African.
"Nina,why don't you straighten your hair like your sister's?"Slight pause."Oh,Peyton's hair isn't straightened? Wow.You really missed out on all the good family features,didn't you?"
That was Aunt Tiwa,her mother's sister,at Nina's tenth birthday.Nina had later spent all of her birthday money on straightening her hair in a cheap salon downtown.The results were disastrous.She looked like a wet dog,and most of her hair began to fall off.She had cried herself to sleep for months.
   Nina hated her childhood.She had been the fat sister, the slow one,the one who nobody ever really looked at or asked how she felt about everything that was said around her.Peyton was their golden child.She was tall,beautiful and very intelligent.And,she was kind.That was why Nina could never bring herself go hate her. Because despite all the differences between them,Peyton was always kind to Nina.
"You are late,"a calm cold voice said.She looked up and met the hard face of Grandmother Margaret.Ah,now here was another one.Her criticisms always hurt the most.Grandmother Margaret was practically worshipped in Nina's family.
   When she and her husband had migrated to America against their family's wishes decades ago,they did not realize how hard it would be to survive abroad.They had spent all their savings on getting the legal documents and their passports and had counted on getting jobs as soon as they'd reached America.However, it was another story.They had to struggle to stay alive.
   It had been a bit tolerable in the beginning because they had each other,then Grandfather Tosin had died of pneumonia,leaving Grandmother Margaret with two kids to take care of.She had to work in stinking toilets,eat stale food just so her children could feed well,serve drinks in bars where the brutes molested her and spilled drinks on her when she got their orders wrong. She had to wear cheap perfume to cover up the rancid smell that always enveloped her clothes because the only apartment she could afford was beside a sewer with leaking pipes.Payment for her services at all her meager jobs ranged from a plate of food to as little as fifteen or twenty dollars.This was how she raised Lola,Nina's mother and Tiwa,Nina's aunt.Alone,and with an iron fist.
     Grandmother Margaret had been aghast when her first daughter had decided to marry a white man.She'd vowed not to come to the wedding, but she did.She'd also vowed not to visit Lola when Peyton was born,but she was right there when the baby was pulled out.It was Peyton that weakened her resolve not to speak to the white man.She had barely looked at him since he'd married her daughter, but on the day Peyton was born,she said to him,
"You've finally proven to me that you're a man.Take care of my girls."
Peyton was christened Oluwapelumi at birth and Nina was called Niniola,but they had to take up English names to make their schooling easier.
"Nina,"her father began."If you're going to be late to family gatherings,I suggest you don't show at all.Since you don't seem the least bit interested in them."
Nina frowned.
"I never said I wasn't interested in them,father.I've just been preoccupied with school,that's all."She took a napkin from the table and folded it neatly on her lap.Etiquette was of utmost importance to Grandmother Margaret,and the last thing Nina wanted was to be on her bad side.
"Jane!"her mother called out to the maid."Bring the food."She then faced her daughter. "And so?"
"What,mother?"Nina tried to keep her voice level.She did not want another one of their many fights.
"Have you no manners?Shouldn't you greet everyone at the table before you sit?Or are you too big for us now,huh,Niniola?"she said sharply.Her mother never called her Nina,or Nini.It was always Niniola.She always told people it was because she didn't want her daughters to forget their Yoruba roots.But the truth was that her mother had no affection towards her,and no matter what she did,no matter how hard she tried,she could never win her mother over.Her mother simply did not love her.
"Fine.Good afternoon,everyone.I would say I'm pleased to see you but that would be an utter and obvious lie."She smiled at them.None of them smiled back.Peyton was laughing though."I haven't been in this house in over three years,and I don't miss it.Neither do I miss any of you,except Peyton,of course.She's the only reason I'm here."
   There was a stunned look on everyone's faces.Her father,her mother,Aunt Tiwa,and Brandon, Peyton's boyfriend.Grandmother Margaret only scoffed.
"I blame that Bella girl,"she said and shook her head,the pearls on her neck dangling and glinting in the light.
Nina chuckled.She and Bella had been friends for nearly ten years,yet her family still referred to her as 'That Bella Girl'.It was because they disliked her bluntness and her not giving a hoot about what people said about her.Bella was straightforward and strong,too.She hated every member of Nina's family and did not fail to tell them to their faces.She hated Lola's excessive use of makeup because she wanted to be as light skinned as her husband,Aunt Tiwa's endless collection of wigs because she was insecure about her receding hairline,Peyton's perfectionism because she wanted to live up to expectation of others,Chris's nonchalant attitude towards his daughter,Nina.And most of all,she disliked Grandmother Margaret's face.What the family disliked the most was the way Bella had helped Nina break free from her insecurities and her family.
      Bella and Nina had met in their freshman year in high school.Nina was brushing her big thick hair in the bathroom when a stone faced beautiful girl walked in.She was taller than Nina and had the tiniest waist Nina had ever seen on a girl her age.She stood beside Nina in front of the mirror and studied her as she brushed her hair. Nina felt very nervous,she felt unfit to be looked at because of her weight,but the girl studied her unabashedly.Then she spoke.
"You aren't beautiful.You're fat and your figure is out of shape.The only thing pretty about you is your hair,"she said in a small baritone voice.
Tears filled Nina's eyes as soon as the words were out.Her body jerked,then she turned to face the girl.The girl's face was composed.
"That's how you see yourself,isn't it,Nina?"
Nina stiffened."Who the hell are you?How do you know my name?And what gives you the right to fucking talk to me that way?"Her lips were trembling as she spoke,her face was wet with tears.
The girl paused,then came closer and gently pushed back the hair that had spilled on Nina's shoulders.
"I'm Bella Bronze. And I think you're more beautiful than you realize.People should not be defined by their weight or height or faces,but by the thoughts of their hearts."
Then,she took Nina by the shoulders,ignoring the way she tensed against her hands,and turned her towards the mirror."But people prefer good looks to good thoughts.So,we're going to give them both."
They were fourteen years old then and had,from that day,become best friends.Bella helped Nina lose weight,Nina helped Bella grow long and full hair.They rubbed off on each other so well that wherever they went,people thought that they were unidentical twins.Same full afro hairstyle,same full bosom,flat stomach and all that.They always dressed alike.
   There were particular differences between them though.Bella was taller,Nina was thicker.Bella had a tiny waist,Nina had more hips.Bella rarely smiled,Nina never failed to.
"Grandmother Margaret,Bella is my best friend. She always has and always will be.I do not care about your opinions,"Nina said,smiling.
"That's why you'll always be the unwanted child,"Grandmother Margaret replied coldly."As long as you stay connected to that little French bitch,you'll never be accepted in my family."
Everyone was shocked.Aunt Tiwa looked away.Lola picked at her food.Peyton and Brandon,her boyfriend, looked extremely uncomfortable.They all looked at Nina.
Her lips were parted in shock.Tears were brimming in her eyes but being strong-willed,she refused to let them fall.
Grandmother Margaret took great pleasure in looking at her,and even greater pleasure in seeing her tears.She waited for the tears to drop but Nina clenched her teeth and stood up.She stepped back and swallowed conclusively, shrugging off the calming hand Peyton had placed on her.
She looked at every person at the table,then said,
"You're a miserable excuse for a family."
She walked to the door before turning to look at Peyton.
"Oh,and happy engagement,sister.Yes,I noticed the ring,"she added when she saw Peyton's startled look."Sorry for ruining the surprise,O dear perfect Peyton,but I won't be attending the wedding or getting involved with you all again." Then to her mother,she said,"I don't regret being born darker or fatter than anyone in this family,but thank you for the pain you put me through because of that.It made me raise my game."
With that,she left and slammed the door behind her.

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