Loveless♣

Chapter 30

  Joshua peeked and saw them sitting together, talking.The two people he loved most in the world.
His little mind could not comprehend why they never got along,and his heart lurched when he saw his uncle glaring steadily at his father.
"Uncle Joshua?" he said.
His uncle turned.His hair was still brown and curly,packed in a bun at the base of his neck.He was wearing a white V-necked sweater.
His look always gave Joshua a sense of peace.A sense of protection.Like no harm could ever befall him whenever Uncle Josh was around.
"Hey," his uncle said,his angry gaze melting away the moment their eyes met."Come 'ere,little man."
He obliged.
Uncle Joshua heaved him up and placed him on his large lap.He smelled good,like the mashed blueberries his mother usually gave him to eat.
Joshua smiled up at his Uncle and handed him his brown teddy bear.
Uncle Joshua grinned."For me?"
Joshua nodded.He loved making Uncle Josh happy.
His smiles were rare.
  Terrence watched the bonding between his son and Joshua and felt a twinge of pain.That was supposed to be him.Him.
He'd never had the chance to form a relationship with his son.
And now he might never get the chance to.
He had to skip town.
He had to skip the country, even.
The threat looming over his head was too calamitous. He couldn't endanger Patti or little Joshua.
Not like Joshua Senior would even allow it.
With the way he was holding his son,it was clear that his love was strong.He'd protect Little J with his life.
Sighing,he leaned back.He supposed he should be grateful.At least his son would be safe.
Bella walked into the living room with Patti.She watched Joshua play with his nephew.
Little Joshua's cries of joy filled the room as Joshua pretended to eat his belly out,clearing the room of its resident hostility.
Bella smiled at the scene.
Patricia walked up to them and touched Joshua on the shoulder.
He looked up at her,with surprise on his face.
He hadn't heard them come in.
He looked at Bella.
Her arms were folded and she was looking anxiously at the clock.
She turned back and found him looking at her.
She held his gaze for a second,then turned to Terrence.
"Tengo que ir ahora.Henry's in the room.You take care of him,okay?Take care of Patti,too,"she said with a small smile,and headed for the door.
Terrence stood up hastily.
"Isa,I need to speak with you."
She stopped and turned to look at him.The look on his face made her frown a little.
"Todavia no."
"Por favor,Isa.Please?"
Patricia looked from Terrence to Bella and from Bella to Terrence.She immediately understood that something dangerous was going on.
She cleared her throat, and took her son from Joshua.
"J.T?" she said.
Joshua,whose face was wrinkled in thought as he stared at Bella, as though trying to decipher what she'd said,looked up at his sister.
"What?" he said.
"Uhh,let's go into the room,we need to talk."
He frowned deeply.He knew she was trying to steer him away from the living room.He was hesitant about leaving, he really wanted to know what was going on.
"Patti,can we talk la-"
"Now,J.T," Patti pleaded."There's much to discuss.I suppose I shall have to take in Henry.Bella said his mother's dead,the poor thing."
She took Joshua's hand and drew him to his feet.
Joshua reluctantly let her lead him inside,muttering something under his breath.
"Oh,don't fret,J.T,you're not Joshua," Patty said with a smile.

-----------------∞-----------------
They stood on the front porch,staring at each other.
"Well?" Bella prodded. "Que te pasa?"she asked,with her hands on her hips.
Terrence understood Spanish.Everyone who'd grown up with Bella was well versed in the language.
"Puede ayudarme?"he asked,with a grave look on his face.
"¿Como?" She gave a mock laugh,and clapped twice."Que chistoso!Because if I remember clearly,when I needed your help,T,you abandoned me and our ship went down!"
"Isa,lo siento..This happened years ago.Let bygones be bygones, would you,please?I didn't mean to.."
"No me importa,Terrence! No me importa.I could give two fucks about your apology.It's too late."
Terrence stared at her in shock.
"Do you know the amount of danger you're in,Isabella?We need each other.CJ's looking for you.So is Sebastian."
"I know that.I know that and you know what?Estoy cansando."She said through gritted teeth." I'm tired.Fucking tired."
He squinted at her."You have no idea,do you?"
She paused."About what?"
"Donde estan CJ,eh?"
"No me importa."She shrugged nonchalantly, and shifted her hair out of her face.
"Oh,you should care,Bella dear," Terrence said softly,but with a threatening undertone."Because that nigga's closer than you think.What do you call dead in Spanish,huh?"
"Shut up,Terrence, I'm scared shitless enough as it is,I don't need you adding to my problems,you got that?You wanna run?Buena idea!Pasé!Buena suerte!"She moved closer until they were eyeball to eyeball."I never expected you to stay back and fight like a man,either way."
"Enough,Isa!"he yelled."There's real trouble here.I can't let CJ find me...find you or anyone.I'm the link,don't you see?If anyone wants to find you or Patti or Little J,it'll be through me!Do you know how that feels?I'm the goddamned link!I gotta go.Once I sent you that text,the next thing I heard was that Esteban was coming after you.I tried calling you but you didn't pick.I thought you was dead!They tapped into my phone,that's how they were able to find me...find you.You need to understand-"
"Esteban is dead."
He stopped at once,shocked."What?"
"Claw killed him."
A terrified look fell over his face.He turned ashen.
"Oh my God,Isa!Y'all killed CJ's right hand man?!What the hell!Why?!You've doomed us all!"
His reactions were starting to worry Bella.She took a step back tentatively then folded her arms and shrugged.
"What do you mean,why?He was about to shoot me.I mean,I was caught off guard first of all seeing that he was alive,and that gave him an advantage and-Wait..." She frowned."How did you know he was alive?"
"That doesn't matter!Shit!We're all screwed!"
"Would you calm the fuck down?" Bella snapped.He was already pacing nervously. His hands shaking,touching his temple,scratching the back of his head as though the answer was buried beneath it and he had to dig it out.
Bella sighed and shook her head."Oh boy..."she muttered.
"I got it!" Terrence said suddenly,snapping his fingers loudly.
Bella looked at him.He was breathing heavily.
"You call a meeting."
His words stunned her.
"What?!" she asked incredulously. "Have you lost your mind?!"
"That's the only answer,Isa!It's the only way.The best way to prepare for a war is to get an army.A large one."
She scoffed."Oh please,T,I'm my own army.I've been on my own for years now,T.Without those idiots."
"Those idiots are your family."
"Fuck what?" she said, recoiling backwards and looking at him like he'd gone mad.
"Isa.."
"No,don't you Isa me,you idiot!You're lucky I'm even still talking to you.And that's because you warned me that night before it all came crashing down.I'd have died if I hadn't been ready.But now you want me to go back to them backstabbing traitorous bastards?!Hell to the no."
"They were your family for years,Isa.They-"
"No!The only people that saved me that night were Claw and Cobra.They're my family.You ran.I never even saw Pepe Tonio.Esteban tried to kill me,ordered by CJ, the man I trusted. Roselyn set me up,tied up my Aunt Ignacia.Bear started the fucking fire in my house.And Sebastian...." She stopped abruptly,because his name threatened to bring tears to her eyes.
Bella looked away.
She took a deep cleansing breath,then looked at Terrence again.
"Sebastian raped you,didn't he?" Terrence said softly."Just like your father."
She fell silent for a moment.Then cleared her throat.
"I don't need your pity," she said quietly. "If you wanna go away,T,I understand."
"Isa,I-"
"No,let me finish," she said,raising a hand to halt his speech."I've been living under a façade for years.Pretending to be strong..aggressive..a goddamned queen.I'm not.I just try to hide the bullcrap that is my life.I'm tired of living that way.If I have to fight to at least get some normality in my life,to break this long chain of  pain that has haunted my existence,then so be it."
"But you'll get hurt,Isa."
She smiled wryly."Terrence, when I was nine my mother was diagnosed with cancer.I was supposed to be with her in Spain,but instead I was prancing about France with my twin.We were the Bronze Bellas.We were the best thing to ever hit France."
Terrence frowned."Hold up,you have a twin?You were one of the Bronze Bellas?"
"My sister has a severe illness.She's the same age as I am,but if you could see her right now..."her voice trailed off and she shook her head slowly." It's my fault she's like that.I should've listened to her.When she complained of migraines,I should've made her go to a hospital or tell my father or something. But I didn't.Because I valued fame over my own sister.She collapsed right before my eyes,on the biggest stage in France. And do you know what her last words to me were?"
Terrence looked at her sadly."Bella,I'm sorry you had to go through-"
"Exactly," Bella said with a wry laugh."She said,Lo siento,Isabella.I'm sorry.She was in pain all along but she sacrificed her pain for me,just so I could be happy that day.That was the last time she spoke.She's in a wheelchair now.She can't talk,can't walk.Her illness isn't as bad as before,but come on,what's worse than not being able to see your sister do the things you do.You know,Bel and I never needed mirrors.We were so identical that our father couldn't tell us apart until we spoke.Bel was gentler,shy.Never spoke loudly or out of place.I was the opposite.I love her so much,Terrence.And I ruined her life."
"It wasn't your fault,Isa.She would've probably collapsed before then.Maybe-"
"When she was taken to the hospital,the government of France decided to pay for everything. Looking back,I realize that did it for only the publicity.They did it for people to look at them in reverence. The bastards didn't let me see my sister for a year.They said she was in 'intensive care'.A total lie.They just didn't want us to see how badly they were treating her.They'd stuck her in a room with a hundred other invalids.Bel gained more infections than she was supposed to lose.They barely fed her.She sat in her own poop for months,Terrence. A nine year old child!When I turned ten,the government finally released her.Said they couldn't take care of her anymore as they had more pressing state affairs to attend to.Their work of putting up a charade to show good governance was done.Terrence, when they wheeled my sister out,I fell to the ground.I wept because the girl in that wheelchair wasn't my mirror anymore.She was a ghost. She couldn't even recognize us.She was limp,and looked devoid of life.Our father took her to another facility where he had to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on her medication and feeding. Meanwhile,my mother was dying in Spain.My father also spent a lot of money on her.Till he was broke...and broken.It was hard for him,seeing his family come apart and he couldn't do anything about it.All the money was a waste.Marabella had to be taken to America for better treatment. Aunt Ignacia took care of that.We were fine for a while.Then my mother died. "She looked up at Terrence."That was when he raped me."
There was a long pause.
Bella's face had taken on a distant look.
"I didn't understand why for years.Why would the man I loved most take my virginity by force moments after telling me my mother was dead...I...I couldn't comprehend it.It made me feel...loveless."
"Pain changes people,Isa," Terrence said softly."It makes people do things they never imagined themselves doing."
"I killed him.I've never told anyone this before, but...I killed my father."
Terrence's eyes widened in shock."You what?"
"You have to understand that at eleven I had already been through more pain that I'd ever imagined.That was the worst period of my life.Losing my sister,my mother.My father had taken to drinking too so I'd lost him also.I had to cook for him,clean after his rubbish whenever he came home drunk,avoid him while he threw bottles and broke items in his fits of drunken rage.But raping me was the straw that broke the camel's back.I begged him not to do it.But he was like a lion,Terrence.I screamed and begged but he didn't listen.That pain turned me into a killer.When he was done raping me,he fell asleep on top of me.I struggled to untangle myself and fell to the floor.My nightdress was soaked with blood,my legs were unsteady. The room was dark,save the moonbeam streaming in from the window.It fell upon the only valuable thing I had in my possession.The first trophy Bel and I had won.I stood up,grabbed it and without thinking I struck him.His blood splashed all over my face but I didn't care.I struck him repeatedly until the trophy got stuck to the back of his head.I've been through more pain than you can imagine, Terrence. Trust me,it'll take more than a simple war to hurt me.I've been scarred already."

Glossary
Tengo que ir ahora:I must go now.
Puede ayudarme:Can you help me?
Como:what?
Buena serte:good luck
Buena idea: good idea
Pasé: go ahead
Que chistoso!:How funny!
No me importa: I don't care
Donde esta:Where is?