Undeniably Yours

13 : Talk that leads to nowhere.

*****

After a minute, both of them finally calmed down. His hold on her slowly loosened as he gripped both her shoulders and make her face him.

The expression on his face showed a mix feeling of frustration and relief.

“Where were you?”

Shiho stared at him. ‘He’s here. Kudo-kun is here.’

“Haibara!” She flinched a little when he called. He was mad, she knew.

He willed herself to show him a nonchalant façade, although she was overwhelmed with mixed feelings inside. “Oh…Kudo-kun. Nice to see you here.”

He stared at him in disbelief, like she had said the most stupid thing in the world. His eyes narrowed into slits. His grip on her shoulders tightened a bit as she shook her.

“I can’t believe you…” He said with a clenched jaw. “You left without a word, then speak to me as if it’s nothing!” He puffed a breath of frustration as he continued to glare at her.

Shiho fought the urge to touch his face. ‘If you only knew, Kudo-kun.’

She avoided his piercing gaze. She cannot look at him. Her façade would surely crumble.

“Shinichi Kudo does not know Miyano Shiho.” She said in an audible whisper.

He heard her. If possible, his gaze seems to intensify, boring holes at her very soul.

“Wh-what…?” He gritted his teeth, and shook his head. He can’t believe this woman!

“But Haibara Ai knows him, and you are Haibara as well!”

“I am not. Look at me, I am Miyano Shiho.”

“Haibara!” He cried in frustration. There was really no winning against this hard-headed woman.

“I have to go.”

“NO!” He instinctively shouted. Even he was surprised at the tone of his voice. It sounded desperate.

“Kudo-kun!” This time, she looked at him and glared. He glared back.

“I am not letting you go. Not this time.”

Their glare contest lasted for several minutes. No one spoke, but thousands of feelings are being conveyed with their staring eyes. It was Shiho who first break the stare. She sighed.

“What do you want?”

“Go home.”

“Home?”

“To Agasa’s residence. Where else?”

She sighed again. “Kudo-kun…if you must know. I don’t belong there. My task is done. Hakase is kind. I don’t deserve such kindness.”

“Again with that…” He reached out for her hand gently, and looked at her. His cobalt blue eyes stared at her. “Haibara, when will you stop hurting yourself? You deserve that kindness. You deserve more than that. Stop belittling yourself.”

She averted her gaze. “No…I…”

“Stop running from your fate. I told you that, right?”

She looked at him with determined eyes. “I am not running away from my fate.” ‘I am just running away from you, Kudo-kun.’

“Then why did you leave us?”

“I just…want to find myself. Find out what I really want. It’s not running away!”

Shinichi was taken aback. She has a point.

“But you can do that without leaving, right?”

She look at him hesitantly. 'It’s not just that Kudo-kun. I want to distance myself from you before my feelings explode. You already belong to Mouri-san.'

“I can’t.” She quietly said.

“But why?” His voice was laden with frustration. He cannot understand why she needs to be away from them. He wanted her to be near them...near him. He wanted her presence.

“It’s…It’s complicated. You’ll never understand anyway.” She answered with a sad smile.

“Then make me understand, damn it!”

She looked sharply at him. She was surprised at the sudden rise of his voice. To her, Shinichi Kudo was always composed. Why is he behaving this way? This was way out of his character. She smirked.

“A secret makes a woman woman.” She slowly said in fluent English. “Isn’t that what Vermouth always said?” 

Shinichi just gave him a look of confusion. His brows were furrowed, and his forehead creased. This conversation was getting them nowhere. He felt her tug her hand that he was holding. He reluctantly let her go.

“Goodbye, meitantei-san.” She softly said as she turned around to walk away.

Shinichi suddenly felt a surge of panic as he saw her leaving. Instinctively, he caught up with her and held her by the wrist, preventing her to walk away further. She looked back and threw him a look of daggers.

“Kudo-kun…” She menacingly said as a warning.

Shinichi felt his face warm a little as he felt his strong stare. “S-sorry, I moved without thinking.” He stuttered.

“What do you want? I am not going with you if that’s what you are saying. Not until a found a reason to.”

“T-Then allow me to walk you home. I want to know where you’re staying.”

“No.”

“Why?” He whined, almost like a child. Shiho secretly smiled.

“Because I know that you’ll just pester me to return to Hakase’s until I agreed, Sherlock.” She smirked.

He smiled sheepishly. Shiho felt her heart skip a beat. His smiles were one of the reasons why she fell for him.

“You really know me.”

She scoffed as an answer as she crossed her arms on her chest, and looked at him rather arrogantly. “Of course.”

Shinichi laughed. He again felt the urge to pull her into another hug. Gods, how he missed her and her talks. That comfortable familiar feeling whenever they exchanged words.

Shiho’s phone suddenly rang. She fished the phone out of her coat’s pocket, and looked at the screen. She frowned.

“I really need to go. Goodbye Kudo-kun.” She turned and resumed her walk. She waved a hand. After a while she felt Shinichi’s presence behind, indicating he was following her steps.

She waved her hand without looking back. “Don’t follow me, you stalker.” She said rather loudly. She heard Shinichi grunted. She smiled instinctively.

She was several meters away from him when he shouted. “I’ll find you! You just wait and be ready. I will find you!”

She stopped for a few seconds when she heard him. She felt that familiar churn in her stomach again. That feeling when he is close. She put her hand in her chest. She felt her heartbeat accelerated. She remained glued like that for a moment before she decided to walk away. She felt her lips curved up.

*****