Undeniably Yours

15: To be kept in the dark.

*****

Ran was running while tears stream down her face. The image of Shinichi hugging that girl was still etched freshly in her mind. With parted lips, she gasped for air, as the strain from running slowly take over her. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath.

Who is that woman? And why is Shinichi hugging her?

Many ideas whirled in her mind, as many possibilities started to ravel in her imagination. She doesn’t want to think, yet she can’t help it. She was not able to make out clearly the face of that woman, but from afar, she was a beauty. ‘What more in near distance?’ She bitterly thought.

She looked around her. It was dark. No wonder, it was already past dinner. She thought of her dad at the detective agency. Maybe, he’s drowning himself in alcohol already while watching his favorite actress. She imagined his father acting silly in front of the television again.

‘And I am here drowning myself in self-bitterness.’ She smiled sadly, as she again was engulfed in memories of events awhile back.

That serious look on Shinichi’s face earlier tells her something was going on without her knowledge. Does a problem involving a case surfacing again? She can’t help but be troubled by the fact that Shinichi still kept her in the dark about his disappearance. He just said he was involved in a big case about an international crime syndicate abroad. Is it really over?

She also noticed that from the time Shinichi returned, there were many instances where he will space out, like he was thinking deeply. Something was troubling him, she knew. She wasn't his childhood friend for nothing. But she does not know what it is. He was smiling and laughing like the deduction freak that he is, but there was a glint of sadness in his eyes.

He looked shocked earlier, like he had seen a ghost. Is it that girl? She hates to admit it, but she felt dejected when he left him earlier. She was taking the biggest risk to confess earlier, yet he left.

He was always leaving, and she was always waiting. Will this cycle ever end?  

She remembered Shinichi’s indirect confession in London. A long time had passed since then yet she can clearly remember it.

Does Shinichi still feel the same? Or did he have a change of heart?
She clenched her chest as she felt invisible hands seemingly wringing her heart. The very thought of Shinichi not loving her hurts like hell. Gods, she hoped to the heavenly above, no. It couldn’t be. She waited for Shinichi for too long. She cannot afford to lose him now.

Ran let out a sigh as she felt a streak of tear escaped from her already strained eyes. She felt broken.

‘I better let Shinichi explain tomorrow.’ She decided.

Still preoccupied, she then walked her way towards home.

*****

The weekend passed swiftly. Ran wasn’t able to meet Shinichi after what happened that Saturday. She was hoping he would call to apologize for leaving that night, but much to her dismay, he didn’t. The weight on her shoulder seems to become heavier. She arrived at school with a heavy heart.

She silently proceeded to her seat. Luckily, Sonoko was still not around. If she is, then she might have already bombarded her with thousands of questions.

Shinichi arrived several minutes later. He was grinning mirthfully. Is it because of what happened?

His smile became reluctant when he caught a glance at her. “H-Hey Ran...” He can't seem to meet her eyes. No doubt,  he felt guilty for leaving.

She smiled, though it did not reach her eyes. “Hey.”

Shinichi approached her.

"Uh.. Ran, sorry for leaving that night."

Ran forced an understanding smile. "Did something happen?" She asked,  hopeful that he will enlighten her about the mysterious girl.

Shinichi hesitated. "Uhh..n-no."

Ran stared knowingly at him.

He looked down. "I mean y-yeah."

'Is he not going to tell me?' she felt an invisible knife stab her chest.

"Shinichi, just what is going on?" She asked softly. She looked at his eyes pleadingly. 'Please... tell me.'

"R-Ran."

She let out a sigh. 'Shinichi,  you idiot.'
She felt like tears were about to fall from her eyes if she said another word, so she just looked at him.. letting her eyes convey all the unsaid feelings.

But still, he did not talk. He just look at her.

She felt her heart constrict, making it hard to breathe. She sat weakly on her seat. "Talk to me when you're ready to tell me everything Shinichi." She shot him a meaningful gaze. "And i mean everything. I don't like to be kept in the dark anymore Shinichi. It's tiring." She whispered weakly, as if overly tired.

He looked at her,  understanding what she meant. He knew it was not good to keep everything from her. She needs to know. She deserves to know.

Perhaps it's the right time to tell the truth.

*****