Undeniably Yours

27: Idiot.

*****

It was deja vu. Again, he was dragging her. How many times will this happen to them?

She was still not able to fully process what happened. His grip on his wrist was becoming tighter that she felt a tad pain. He was mad...furious even. She can see he was clenching his jaw in anger.

‘What’s with him? Is this about Matsuda?’ She wondered.

‘Was he jealous?’

She did not want to press the issue further. She just followed him silently, waiting for him to calm down.

She looked back worriedly, they were quite far from the ground now.

They stopped at the shade of a nearby tree, with him gently pushing her back on the tree trunk. She felt a slight pain from the contact. She glared at him. She crossed her arms on her chest and coldly stare at him.

“Seriously, Kudo-kun! What was that?!” she hissed.

Shinichi just looked at her. He was still clenching his jaw. He looked so pissed. Shiho felt silent.

“Hey…” she tried to talk to him.

He just gazed intently at her, then frustratingly brushed his hair with his hand. “Please. Don’t talk for a moment.” He mumbled.

She nodded unknowingly in surprise and continued to observe him. He was frustrated, that much she could tell. His hair had become messy earlier, and there was a bead of sweat trickling on the side of his face. She can also detect a faint shade of pink on his ears and cheeks. He looked flushed.

‘Is it because of anger?’

But with the limited illumination coming only from the streetlights nearby, she can’t be too sure. The noise from the bonfire several meters away cluttered in the background.

After a minute, Shinichi started to calm down. He took a deep breath as he looked at her. Shiho’s breath hitched from the intensity of his stare. She bowed down.

“S-stop staring.” She whispered.

Shinichi seems to realize that he indeed unknowingly stared for too long at the scientist. He let out an obviously fake cough, and scratched the back of his neck.

“S-sorry.” He apologized.

Shiho just nodded in response.

Awkward silence followed.
Shiho was the first one to compose herself.

She smirked to ease the atmosphere. “Congratulations in ruining your reputation just now, detective. Just what the hell are you thinking?”

The detective seems unaffected. “No worries. It doesn’t matter.”

Shiho stared unbelievingly at him. “Shinichi Kudo does not care about his image? Oh…that’s new.” She teased.

“I wasn’t thinking.” He replied. “It’s your fault anyway…” he mumbled in a low voice, but she heard him anyway.

Her forehead creased. She raised an inquiring brow. “Excuse me?” she hissed.

“Nothing.” He answered defensively.

“You said it was my fault. I heard you.” She accused. “Look, Kudo-kun, it’s not my fault you came barging in like that.”

“Well, it’s your fault for being so damn attractive that guys can’t help but to approach you.”

Shiho gaped at his comment. Shinichi seemed to realize what he just said. His eyes widened in embarrassment.

“N-No…I m-mean…” his voice trailed off, at loss for words. He averted his gaze. He can feel his ears burning. “Damn, I said it out loud.” He mumbled.

Shiho smiled secretly. ‘He’s acting funnily stupid.’ It was refreshing to see this side of him.  

He noticed her smiling anyway. He grinned. Shiho snapped back to reality. She plastered her poker face again. Shinichi frowned.

“Damn it, Shiho.” He muttered as he furrowed his brow at her. She just stared at him flatly.

“What?”

He sighed. “You really have a way of making me feel empty. All this time, because of you, just how much…” his voice trailed off, finding difficulty in completing his thoughts. She has a way of making his brain haywire. He sighed again. This time, he stared pleadingly at her. “Why are you like this? I can’t understand why you’re being this way. What is the reason Shiho?”

“What reason are you talking about?” she asked, feigning ignorance.

Shinichi didn’t answer. He swallowed that invisible lump in his throat.

Uncomfortable silence.

He faked a cough, and bowed down. “I guess I was alone in thinking that we have something special, with us being partners and all. The way we met, all those banters…” he looked sadly at her, and Shiho felt like her heart just broke into pieces.

He continued, “I think I am the only one who felt sad and empty when you left. To you, I am just a colleague, yes?”

‘No, Kudo-kun. You’re wrong.’ She wanted to answer, but it seems like her voice betrayed her.

“I will ask you again.” He whispered seriously. “ Is there really nothing? What am I to you, Shiho?”

‘You’re my everything, Kudo-kun.’ She answered in her mind.

Shinichi waited for a moment. The silence was becoming deafening.

After a while, he speaks up. “Fine, I got it.”

He turned around and took a step away, hoping silently that she will stop him. He took another step, yet there’s still that deafening silence. He was tempted to look back and go back to her…to pull her into a hug, but he held it in.

‘Just a bit more. I’ll wait a bit more. Come on, Shiho, say it. Call me back.’ He pleaded in his mind.

However, the scientist just stared at his retreating back. She wanted to call him, really…but it seems like all her strength faded. She leaned back more against the tree. Her knees buckled, and she felt a tear fall down on her eye.

‘He left, stupid Shiho. He really left.’ She told herself bitterly.

Her vision was becoming blurry with tears. She raised her hand to feel her face, and was surprised to feel the hot salty liquid streaming down her cheeks. She’s crying. The scientist who rarely showed emotions is really crying.

She covered her eyes with her hand, and stifled a sob. She must stop. She must stop showing too much emotion.

She was mentally scolding herself to stop crying when she felt strong arms pulling her in a tight hug.

“Damn it, Shiho. You’re making me insane.” Shinichi Kudo exclaimed as he pulled her closer to him.

Her eyes widened in bewilderment when she heard his familiar voice.

‘Idiot.’ She find herself thinking as she let him hug her.

She was not sure if that word was directed to the detective or to herself. But she didn’t care. For now, she’s going to let the Fates take over.

*****