Undeniably Yours

25: Her Point of View.

*****

Everybody was at the school ground. Everything was ready for the bonfire. Everyone was excited.

Contrary to the lively crowd, Shiho sits quietly in a corner, earnestly wanting to go home. Nicholas left a minute ago to attend to his ‘duties’. She scanned the crowd with deadpanned eyes. She was never a fan of gatherings. Being in the organization for too long, she was trained to conceal her emotions, making it hard for people to befriend her. Well, not that she wanted friends anyways. She always thought of them as being a burden…but not until she met him.

Shinichi Kudo introduced her to many possibilities and experiences she never anticipated. She always thought being alone was enough. That she needed no one to lean on to, well except for her sister. She had planted in her mind that she can never escape the organization’s clutches. That she will always be hunted by their presence, and controlled by their teachings. But then he made her that promise. That promise that he will protect her no matter what. Her heart swelled at the memory.

And before she knew it, she was falling. She was slowly being consumed with feelings of affection for the detective, and as much as she suppressed herself from drowning further, she had been failing miserably.

At first, she thought it was just because he was the first guy in her age that she encountered since escaping the organization, but she was wrong. Days passed, yet her feelings never ceased. Instead, it seems to intensify whenever she looked at him. But she knew these feelings would remain unrequited. He was so inlove with his childhood friend anyway. She already accepted that fact, and viewed is as punishment for all her sins.

But then, this happened. He confessed…not of his love to his childhood friend, but to her. Now what?

Her world almost stopped moving when he said those three damned words.

‘I love you, Shiho.’

She took a deep breath to shook his voice in her head away.
She refused to believe it. It would be too good to be true. But the look on his face earlier undeniably told her he really mean it. He knew the detective for too long to know that.

‘But Mouri-san…’

She was not selfish enough to disregard Mouri-san’s feeling for the detective. She will not give in to her desires. Her feelings should just remain unrequited. His feelings for her will definitely pass, she hoped. He was just really confused because he was shocked at her sudden disappearance. Besides, she does not deserve him. He was way out of her league. She was a criminal, and he is a detective. Now those two should not be put together, right?

She smiled bitterly as she consumed herself in self-doubt, bitterness and negative thoughts. No wonder, she was always the pessimist.

‘I should stay away. This will be the last time we will see each other.’ She told herself repeatedly.

‘Don’t run away from me.’ Shinichi’s voice seems to reverberate in her mind.

‘Sorry Kudo-kun.’

She knew she was being stubborn, but the feelings of guilt and longing constantly battled in her chest for dominance. She wanted to be with him, but the constant feeling of guilt seems to gnaw at her.

“Can I sit here?”, a girl’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked up, and was astounded at the face of no other than Ran Mouri, Kudo-kun’s childhood friend, greeted her. A glint of recognition escaped in her eyes but she quickly concealed it.