Sleeping Beauty

Kabanata 25

Kabanata 25

True Feelings

-Iya-

"Why did you tell those words to them?" I asked him.

Nandito kami ngayon sa veranda ng mansyon. Abuela and Mommy decided to leave us alone for us to talk. I was so stunned when he told those words to them. Hindi ko alam na ganito pala talaga siya ka-seryoso sa 'aming dalawa'.

"As what I told them a while ago, Iya, I'm serious about us. This isn't about our marriage but also my feelings for you. Gusto ko kita, Iya. Gustong-gusto kita... I'm always here for you. If you still want time, I can give that to you. Handa akong mag-antay... palagi until you finally notice that I'm here." ngumiti siya sa akin.

Napalunok ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. And I suddenly feel quite relieved for some apparent reason. Maybe because somehow he understands me. Siguro dahil masyado akong naging self-centered kaya natakot akong magtiwala. Dahil masyado kong inisip ang sarili ko... na wala akong ibang kakampi kundi ang sarili ko.

Now I realize that I'm slowly losing my abilty to care and to think for others too. Because of my trust issues, I failed to think of the people around me. Inisip ko ang makakabuti na lang sa sarili ko. Puro sarili ko na lang ang naisip ko. Masyado akong natakot for myself that I didn't realize that maybe some people care for me more than how I care for myself.

"Do you like me enough for you to take risk?" muli kong tanong sa kanya.

"You didn't give me any opportunity for me to introduce myself to you more, love."

"Bakit ba gusto mo ako, ha?" humalukipkip ako at tinitigan siya. Bahagya siyang ngumiti.

"Kasi nga bata palang tayo gusto na kita, Iya. I thought it's just a simple attraction since we were both young before but it developed into something deeper..." pinagsalikop niya na 'yung dalawang kamay niya. "Funny how you bullied me because I'm weak and nerdy while you're fat. Pero walang maka-away sa'yo kasi dinadaganan mo lang sila. You're so cool, kaya naging crush kita, e." bahagya siyang tumawa.

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. How dare him opened up our past!

"Shut up!" singhal ko. Kailangan pa ba niyang sabihin ito? "Gusto mo ako pero madami ka namang babae. Maghanap ka nga ng ibang maloloko mo, Keith Henry Falcon."

"I did that because I want to forget my feelings for you but I can't! It's hard to forget you."

Halos masamid ako doon sa sinabi niya. If he's telling the truth, how did he handle that? Paano niya nagawang magtiis ng ganoon katagal? Na magkagusto sa isang taong hindi mo alam kung gusto ka rin ba o magugustuhan ka o sa taong may gustong iba?

He said that it's hard to forget... it's hard to remove the feelings that you have.

"What if I'll never feel the same towards you? What will you do? Magpapakasal ka pa rin ba sa akin? Kahit na alam mong masasaktan lang tayo sa isa't isa?" tanong ko ulit.

"We have a lots of time to spend time with each other, baka may chance na magustuhan mo rin ako." he slightly smiled. "And as what I said, I'm willing to wait for you, love."

"Bahala ka na nga..." umirap na lamang ako. "You're so persistent. It's so irritating."

He chuckled. "I'm not that kid anymore, Iya. Na kapag sinabi mong layuan kita, lalayuan na talaga kita kahit ayoko. Now, I'm going to stick with you even if you don't like it."

"You're really annoying!" tumayo na ako at padabog na naglakad pabalik sa kwarto ko.

I checked my phone and saw that I have five missed calls and from Jerome.