Sleeping Beauty

Kabanata 30

Kabanata 30

Secret

-Iya-

"You're my friend..." I softly mumbled. "He's just my friend," I suddenly sobbed.

I tightly hugged my knees and buried my face on it. Bakit ganun? Sobrang sakit. I feel so broken right now. Alam ko naman na hindi na dapat ako umasa pa but for that fleeting time, I really hoped. I hoped that he do really have feelings for me. Na mahal niya rin ako. Na hindi totoo ang mga narinig ko.

"Your friend?" he asked. Napalunok ako doon. The way he looks at me makes me want to look away but I tried so hard to maintain my eye contact with him.

I nodded. "You helped me during those times that I need a friend." parang may kung ano na bumara sa aking lalamunan.

He smirked and placed his hand on the back of his neck. "That's good. I actually thought that you fall for me. Too bad that I didn't even make you fall for me, huh?" he sighed.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. I remember their bet, I wonder if he lose or he won? Pero anuman ang naging resulta noon, that doesn't change the fact that they hurt me. He hurt me. He took advantage on me and my weaknesses.

I slightly smiled. "I already know what you're up to before, Mr. Montello. But I'm not that kind of person who'll easily fall for someone's game. I really appreciate your company. Alam mo naman ang mga drama ko sa buhay, masaya ako kasi naging kaibigan kita."

Hanggang doon na lang ba tayo? Gaano nga ba kalalim ang relasyon natin? Ano nga ba talaga ang nararamdaman mo para sa akin? Gusto mo ba ako? O wala lang ba talaga sa'yo ang mga pinagsamahan natin?

Do you even value what we have?

I hopefully looked at his eyes hoping that he'll answer all the questions that I have at the back of my mind. Na sana mali lang ako sa lahat ng nalalaman ko. Na sana mahal niya talaga ako. Na totoo ang lahat ng pinakita at sinabi niya sa akin.

"You proved to me that you're really the cold-hearted princess from MD University. Then I hope we can maintain at least our friendship. Mahirap pa namang makipag-kaibigan sa'yo." he slightly chuckled.

Unti-unti akong nakaramdam ng panghihina. Like all the pain conquered me again.

I smiled at him... at least I tried to give him a sincere smile. "Sure."

"You fool. Of all the people, you should be the one who knows how weak and vulnerable I am." I said to myself and sobbed. "Hindi mo dapat siya pinagkatiwalaan, Iya. Stupid ka because you let yourself fall for him kahit na alam mong hindi dapat."

Buong araw lang akong nagmukmok at umiyak sa kwarto. I know I should be studying right now for our finals but I can't even do anything. Niyakap ko lang ang unan ko para maging karamay ko sa sakit at lungkot na nararamdaman ko ngayon. I want to comfort myself, to push myself to believe that I'm okay, na malalagpasan ko rin ito.

Natigilan ako ng tumunog ang phone ko. Kinuha ko ito at sinagot ang tawag.

"Hello..." matamlay kong sambit.

"Uy, Iya!" masiglang tawag sa akin ni Jethro. "Free ka na ba today? Gawin na natin 'yung project natin sa Humanities. Hindi pa tayo nakakapunta ng National Museum. Pasahan na nun next week." aniya.

"Uhm, ano... hindi kasi ako pwede ngayon. Masama ang pakiramdam ko." suminghot pa ako. Ayoko lang makita nila na galing ako sa isang buong araw na iyak.