Unpredictable | Luke Hemmings & Calum Hood. (Cake/5SOS)

Chapter 25

"If you hold me any tighter, I think I might collapse," my father says as he fights for breath under my tight grip.

Not fully comprehending what he's actually saying, I hold onto him tighter, fearing that even if I loosen my grip around him a little, he might slip away and disappear again. He can't leave. He can't leave me, not again.

"Cal!" he yells a little and I finally realize I'm causing him pain.

"I'm sorry," I manage to say as I wipe newly forming tears from my face. "I just didn't think I'd ever get to see you again."

"You have quite a grip on you, son," he laughs while taking the seat on the nearest stool by the granite countertop.

"I just missed you. Mom isn't going to like this," I say with gritted teeth as I reposition myself to stand directly in front of him.

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her," he says while putting a hand through his hair and brushing it back.

"She won't let me see you. She won't talk about you, and she won't tell me anything. She can't do that, can she?" I ask desperately while beginning to feel sad because maybe she actually can.

"You're still a kid, Calum. Your mother still has a right to all of that, but she won't have the right for very long," he tries to laugh off, "She hates me, doesn't she?"

"What'd did you do?" I ask hesitantly, ignoring his question and taking the stool next to him.

"Nothing you need to know yet. Within time, maybe. Let's just say I never stayed with your mom for her," he says, almost thinking over whether or not he's going to tell. He looks distant. Maybe he feels that I'll judge him or hate him on his actions. I'm not my mom. I love my father way too much to ever feel that way.

"I know that. I think everyone knew you stayed because of me." The words escape my mouth easily but I begin to grow nervous.

"You catch on pretty well, even at a young age. I know you want answers, Calum, and I want to be able to give you all of them in this moment, but I can't. Not right now, anyway."

"Why?"

"You shouldn't have to find out why I left this way. I don't want your view point of me to change. I wouldn't know how to respond if you were ever as disgusted with me as your mother is."

"I'm not Mom."

"You're still her son, and you have her DNA."

"DNA doesn't make us family, and if that's the case, you know I'm just as much your son as hers," I say while looking at the ground.

"Can you promise me something?"

"Anything, Calum."

"Don't leave." As I try to finish my statement, cries begin to escape my mouth just as the words try to. "Please don't leave me. Not again! Not with her. Please. I don't care if you can't tell me what's going on, just please don't leave!" I beg. "I need you."

Every word escaping my mouth is the truth. I don't care if he can't tell me. He probably fucked someone while he was with my mom or that he had another wife somewhere that actually made him happy. I don't care. None of that matters to me right now. I've missed him more than anything and lately, all I've been feeling imprisoned in my own mind and everything is just becoming too much.

"I never left, bud," he responds while getting up and pulling me into a hug while I still sit on my stool. "I never really left," he trails off, but continues slowly. "When I left you in California, I stayed near, always keeping an eye on you. I moved here around the same time you did. Calum, I never left, and I promise I won't."