Found it! [ girlxgirl ]

|THIRTEEN|

After Avery left my place I went straight to bed, but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get her out of my head.

Not once we talked about our sexuality, so I never got a confirmation whether or not she could be interested in me the same way I am interested in her. I never mentioned past relationship and neither did she. I never explicitly asked her and neither did she.

Although I've been gathering clues for a while now, that night, I finally got the confirmation.

Shortly after we started talking on Facebook, and then trough text messages, the conversation got more and more moments of flirtatious. It still didn't confirm me anything but I took it as a good indicator.

However, I'm not usually one to flirt blatantly. Unlike Avery, I'm subtler and choose my words carefully. For starters, I'm always afraid I might be misreading the situation. Maybe that's how she is with everyone. She smiles and stares at your soul with care. I'm also afraid to show all my cards before being sure about what I want and what the other person wants, but since she was flirting with me I started to flirt with her too.

She can make me blush with a simple look, so I take every opportunity to say something that will catch her off guard.

Sometimes, at night, I would mentally list all the clues that could prove that Avery was indeed interested in me. The teasing, the flirting, the smiling, the staring, the touching.

Teasing and flirting were present in all of our conversations. It could be a simple and innocent compliment on my clothes, my hair or my body. Or it could be a deliberate and much more direct teasing, like inviting herself to visit me in Italy during the summer, when I would dedicate a full week only to her, to show her the most beautiful places for her photography.

In every interaction, she would show me all different kinds of smiles, each one carrying hidden meanings that she expects me to decipher. A little smile or a half-smile is often seen when I'm talking about my family and my 'existential crisis', a victory smile when she makes me blush, a smirk when she's teasing me, and a wide smile whenever she's amused.

Her smile is beautiful, but her eyes are my weakness. Sometimes I'm sure I can read them perfectly, but not always. I have so many doubts about what she's trying to tell me during those lingering looks. It would be much easier if she would just use words, but not as exciting.

Her eyes are filled with emotions, and I love that about her. In our conversations, whether we're talking about random stuff or more personal matters, I have noticed so many emotions. She may not show what she feels with words and she may even try to disguise some emotions, but I see them. I see the obvious ones, like smugness, amusement, and curiosity. And I see the complex ones. I know she resents her parents for the divorce. I know she's angry at them for not trying harder to make their relationship work. I know she's proud of her little sister because she's talented and smart. I know she regrets not seeing her father as much as her mother since the divorce. I know when she's embarrassed after I unexpectedly compliment her or flirt with her. I know...well, I think I know the desire and attraction that she feels when we talk closer than we normally do.

When we are close together, she casually touches my arms or my shoulders while she speaks. When we're at the bar, she speaks near my ears and it always makes me tremble. When we're talking about something more emotional, she places her hand on my knee and rubs it softly back and forth to comfort me. And let's not forget the hugs whenever we meet, that seems longer and tighter now, and that goodbye kiss on the corner of my mouth.

If that soft kiss doesn't confirm that she's interested, I don't know what will. Well, I do know and you do, too. But next time we meet.

And the next time cannot come fast enough! It's been too long since we were together and I'm afraid she'll forget that night, that kiss, and that 'to be continued...'.

I told you May would hit me hard. I have thousands of assignments to deliver, exams to prepare for and things to pack for my return to Italy. Avery is also busy with assignments, exams, and her class's dance show to prepare.

I won't be here for the show, unfortunately. I would love to see the results of her hard work, but I'm travelling back home Saturday, on the 20th, and the show is Sunday. I'll have to go through the photos to see the amazing scenario she's creating and I hope I get to see some videos of her dancing too.

I wasn't supposed to go home this earlier, but it's my birthday on the 26th and my family almost begged me to be there. My grandmother health is not great and she wants a big birthday party with all of our family (and my friends) together. I only wish I could have Sarah, Richard, and Avery there too.

Anyway, like I said, these last two weeks have been busy and I haven't seen Avery since that night. We did try to meet during the week, but her classmates planned a rehearsal or I had meetings with my teachers to discuss my thesis. Then, I spent the next week at Sarah's to study for the exams that started on the 9th.

Now, it's Tuesday. I had my last exam and I'm finishing packing my stuff.

We'll still go to Fitz, to have a beer or two and say goodbye to some people. After that, we'll head to the Loud Bar and I'll try not to drink too much since I have a flight hours later.