Found it! [ girlxgirl ]

|NINE|

This Saturday I woke with a different hangover. My body wasn't aching from having one too many drinks last night, because I didn't. No. This is different. It took me while to realize what I was feeling. I was still under the effects of the unexpected events of last night. I didn't dream about, at least I don't think I did. I fell asleep easily and I woke up feeling just a little thirsty. Nothing extraordinary, but there is some excitement still lingering. The adrenaline rush I had last night is clearly still affecting me.

I woke up earlier than most Saturdays. I usually sleep until it's lunch time, but today I woke up an hour earlier. I took a long shower, got dressed and prepared a cooked meal, something unusual for a Saturday since I normally order lunch.

After lunch, I sat on my couch with my computer on top of me. Now this in normal for a Saturday. After a while browsing on social media, I got a text from Avery. The message surprised me. Is everything unexpected with this girl? It didn't say much. In fact, it only said "Coffee at Grizto, around 16 p.m.?".

I actually believed she had sent it to me by mistake, so I waited almost half an hour to answer. I was overthinking it, again. During that half hour, I planned my reply and, obviously, I planned what path I would take to get to Grizto, what I would order and what we would talk about. My tendency to plan everything worries me sometimes, but this is who I am. I cannot live without planning. I don't exactly panic and freeze when things don't go according to my plans. I always consider that possibility. I may be taken aback when it happens, but I readjust. Sort of like what happened yesterday. I may have frozen for a couple seconds, but eventually I readjusted.

I answered to her text saying that I could really use a coffee. Not entirely a lie, but I could survive without a coffee. I just wanted to say yes without writing "yes!" or "k".

It's 15:53 p.m. and I'm sitting at Grizto waiting for her for five minutes now. She's not late. I'm early. I like to arrive early. You can probably guess why. I can sit, take in the reality, assess what's surrounding me and, of course, think about what's likely to happen (in other words, play a couple scenarios in my head to prepare myself for them).

I see her walking through the front door and I wave at her. She's wearing tight blue jeans, a black tank top and low top black all stars. Her long hair is pulled into a high ponytail.

She looks flawless. And she's early. I think to myself as she greets me with a quick hug. It was long enough for me to notice her smell. I recognize the floral fragrance.

-"J'adore." I tell her before we part from our quick hug. I realize that she didn't get my reference, "You're perfume. Is it not Dior?"

-"Oh, yeah! It is. Right. That was..." She rubs the back of her neck and I can see, for the first time, that I took her by surprise.

-"Unexpected?" I try to guess her next word.

-"I was gonna say impressive, but that works too." She chuckles and grabs the drinks menu.

I think she's blushing and I'm feeling great about it.

The waitress takes our orders, one café mocha for me and one vanilla café mocha for her.

-"So...thanks for joining me. I didn't want to have a coffee all by myself." She says while adjusting her ponytail.

-"Thanks for inviting me. I was getting ready to spend the day laying on the couch" I chuckle nervously.

I'm playing with the menu with my hands, avoiding her eyes. I'm giving my heart some time to slow down before I can meet those eyes again. If my anxiety level increases just a tiny bit more, I may start saying stupid things that would kill the conversation and Avery would regret inviting me.

-"Right. You already told me that's how you cure your hangovers. Maybe you can add this to your Saturday plans from now on?" She tilts her head and smiles, expecting a positive answer.

I give her a shy 'maybe' and proceed to ask her about last night. I don't want the conversation to die and it seems like a good start to know what she did after leaving our table at Fitzold. She told me she just had a couple more drink and danced for a while before leaving the bar.

The waitress brought our coffees, interrupting the conversations for a few seconds, but we immediately got back to it, talking about our Friday nights. She invited me and my friends to visit the bar where she usually goes with her friends, in the upcoming week. The bar has weekly live performances by local bands. Most of them are students at her institute, and some of them are really good. Or so she says. I guess I'll have to see for myself.

We talked for more than an hour about plenty new things. She talked about a dance project her class is making and I could see that she loves what she's studying.

I explained to her why I had decided to study abroad. I told her about the feeling of missing something and not being able to figure out what it is. I told her about my family mocking me about it, saying it's probably my teddy bear that I lost on our holidays in Switzerland. I told her that Sarah and Richard ask me almost every day if I already found what I've been looking for. It became our thing. Sometimes, when I'm going to sleep, I get a text asking "Did you find it yet?". During this conversation, I saw that she was genuinely curious about it and it felt great. My family and friends, in Italy, don't take me seriously anymore. They think I'm just having an existential crisis that will pass once I get a job, a husband, kids and a dog.

But Avery, probably because it's the first time hearing about it, paid attention to everything I said. She leaned forward and held her head with one hand while the other was holding the coffee. She always asked a question at the end of my sentences. It's always hard to explain something that makes perfect sense to you, but it's not possible to express with words. Luckily, she seemed to understand me and even told me about her own 'existential crisis'. She was supposed to be a professional dancer, but it never felt right. Only when she joined the institute of arts in New Hampshire did she realize what was missing.

It's almost 6 p.m. and Avery scares me when she suddenly stands up from her chair and says she needs. She has to pick up her little sister, who is probably already waiting for her. Startled, I pay for both our coffees and accept her ten apologies. We leave the café and say our goodbyes.

-"I'm sorry Emma. Trust me, I wish I could stay, but...responsibilities!" She apologizes once again, shrugging and giving me a pleading look.

-"I forgive you, Ave. You did scare me though, so you'll have to make up for that next time." I tease her, without really thinking about it.

I told you, these things slip out of my mouth without me even noticing.

I saw some amusement in her face and something else too, when I said "Ave". Maybe I'm not close enough to call her that? It's probably just for best friends or something. I don't know and I couldn't decipher it so, I'll let it go and simply stop calling her that.

-"See you next time, then." She stepped forward and gave me another quick hug. This one seemed quicker and I don't know if it's because she's in a rush or because I wanted it to last longer.

We walk away in opposing directions and I'm fighting the urge to look back. I decide to cross the road to casually look both ways and take a glance in her direction.

I don't see her among the people walking on the sidewalk, though. She's probably in her car already, or turned around in one the streets.