Young Love (A Diza Fanfiction)

*19*

I wake up. No one is home.  I sit up and look at the damage I have done.

"Not fucking again.." I murmur to myself, tears welling up in my eyes once again. A salty tear drops into my fresh cuts and it stings. "Fuckkkk."

I stand up and grab a black towel, I wipe up the blood on the floor and toss the towel into the laundry machine. I get band aids and gauze from the first aid kit David keeps underneath the sink and wrap it around my cuts.

I grab my keys and drive to the hospital where David is. I enter the room and get the news that I can take David home, but don't have him do a lot of work or put too much weight onto him. They also mentioned he is fragile and still bruising. The doctors and I wheel out David and set him in the front seat. I don't want to tell David anything until we get home.

We pull into the parking lot of his apartment and I hold him steady as we walk to his apartment room, I unlock the door and we walk to his room.

"Baby, we really have to talk." He says immediately as we settle onto his bed, door shut.

Fuck. Did he see it? I fucked up so much. I ruin everything. He then points at my bandaged wrists. "Why?" He states clearing his throat.

"Why? Because I fucking hate myself. I'm someone who doesn't deserve to fucking live. You don't deserve me when you've been everything but great to me. I gave you hell and you are still living in it. I'm sorry for putting you in the worst situation  of your life. I wish I could just die so everyone would be happy, but I'm too fucking scared to take my life, although it is just a couple cuts. Isn't it obvious I want to die so you can be happy."

"Liza, seriously what the fuck? You know I love you, if I didn't why the fuck am I still here, you never cheated on me or did anything to make me hate you."

"You didn't see Instagram..did you?" I scoff out holding back my tears.

He takes his phone out and immediately types exactly what I think..LizaIsAWhore..he swipes right multiple times..looking at all the photos and his face droops down into sadness.

"I-I'm sorry." I cry out.

"Liza. You kissed Alex..while I was in the hospital possibly dying."

"It was on the cheek pookie! I swear it was nothing else! I wouldn't do that to you!"

"Liza, only you and Alex know what it was, pictures only have so much meaning. Why was there even a kiss..couldn't it have just been a hug? A pat on the back? Am I worth nothing to you when I'm in the hospital?"

"DAVID ARE YOU SERIOUS? I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING OF IT WHEN YOUR NURSE WAS SITTING ON YOUR LAP. BECAUSE I TRUST YOU. DO YOU NOT TRUST ME?" A tear sheds down my face.

"I trust you Liza, I do from the bottom to the top of my heart, but I don't get why you did this. Before this goes into a deeper fight, all I'm going to say is please, find somewhere else to stay, or go back home. I can't handle this right now."

"Babe, Pookie, Best Friend, David. I'm sorry. Please don't leave me, not now. Not when I need you the most. Please."

"Liza. You need to leave." David says in a stern voice.

I walk out of David's bedroom, grab my purse, and walk out the apartment door. No goodbye kiss, not even a goodbye.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

David's POV

Later That Night...

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?" I throw my tv remote at my bed. "I FUCKED UP, I LOST MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. SHE'S PROBABLY IN HER ROOM CRYING WHILE I'M HERE GOING FUCKING INSANE." I bang my head on the wall. "I LOVE HER, YET TONIGHT I DIDN'T LOVE HER ENOUGH. I NEED TO CALL HER." I look for my phone.

I find it and immediately I see I'm still being tagged in the same post. BRRRINGG BRRRINGGG BRINNGGG. "Pick up Liza, c'mon please pick up."

Hey {pause} "Liza, hey we need to.."  it's Liza! Sorry I couldn't get to the phone in time. Please leave a message after the beep.

God damnit! I lost her, I really lost my best friend, my girlfriend, my soulmate, my everything. All because I was a fucking idiot, jealous of fucking Alex. I thought Liza liked Alex and I fucked everything up by telling her to leave because I was jealous. I lost everything.

I call her a couple more times and on the last time I leave a message

"Liza, I'm sorry. I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up. I want you back. Please come over when you get this message. We need to talk. I love you."

I hang up the phone and rush to the bathroom. I stick my head into the toilet and throw up. I can't handle myself and what I did. I ruined my life with only a couple of words. I didn't only ruin my life though, I ruined Liza as well.

I open the bathroom closet door and look inside it for any fresh razors, I have to do this to myself as I ruined everyone else, why not ruin myself as well.

I find a couple and tear them apart. I take off my shirt and scratch the razor above my chest. I scratch it right across the left side of my chest, where my heart is. Why? Because my heart is broken, the barrier to my heart should be broken as well. Finally, I scratch up the sides of my stomach.

I run the bath and sit in it. "Ahh shit!" My whole body is stinging. I feel 100 needles being stabbed into my skin. 15 minutes later of sitting in pure pain, which I deserved, I get out of the bath. I put on fresh pajamas and sit on my bed, hoping I got a phone call back while I was in the bath.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

DINGGG-DONNGGG

The doorbell rings then I hear knocks on the door, just thinking it's Dom or Alex locked out of the apartment, I take my time walking to the door.

"POLICE." A deep voice shouts. I hurry up to the door and open it.

"Hello officer?" I say questioning what is happening.

"David? David Dobrik?" He asks me.

"Yes sir, that's me."

"Hello Mr. Dobrik, I'm so sorry to tell you but your girlfriend, has passed away."

"What?! How?! Wh-Where's is this thing that tells you so."

The police officer hands me a note. "Here is her suicide note."

Hello, to whoever finds this,

I am Liza Koshy, and I have decided to end my life today. May 28, 2017. I was known as the nerd at school, but now I'm the whore, ugly, and a bitch. I loved my boyfriend, David Dobrik, to death. I didn't want to kill myself so I could spend the rest of my life with him, but some things don't work out. I wanted a family, kids, anything, a dog even. I'm sorry David that I had to end my life, I just didn't want anything to do with this world anymore. Everyone hates me and I don't blame them. I hate myself too. To whoever finds this letter please tell David and show him this. I love him and I'm sorry. Please don't feel pain and move on when necessary.

I collapse onto the floor and just cry.