Used To Be • Harry Styles

Seventeen

"I'm getting your room ready immediately!" My mum cheered through my laptop which I was face-timing her from.

"You know that I'm not staying with you, for the most part, right?" I laugh at her.

I had called to tell her and my sister that I was coming back home for a couple of months. My sis wasn't home just yet.

"I know, I know," my overly excited mum began. "But I haven't seen you in over a year! My baby, how can you not expect me to get this excited!"

"Thanks mum," I say. "I can't wait to get out of here."

"Why are you in such a rush?" She immediately senses that something's wrong.

I let out a sigh as I rub my face.

"So, uh," I start. "Annie broke up with me five days ago."

"What?" She asks, genuinely surprised. "What? Why? How?"

"Immediately after the meeting where they told us about the tour, I went to the hotel without saying a word to anyone and took some time to myself before heading over to her place. She was the first person I told, the first person that I needed and wanted to tell, and well it didn't turn out so pretty."

"Go on," she was intrigued and concerned now.

"I don't know," I start again. "I don't know, I asked her to come with and she said she couldn't. She said she couldn't just leave everything instantly and come follow me around the world and she said she didn't want to be someone that was holding me back so she wished me luck and broke up with me."

"Oh Harry," my mum began to sympathize with me. "I get that she can't just get up and go at the drop of a hat, you can't really blame the girl for that bit of it, but she can't visit?"

"She had a point there, about me being on tour and all over the place, too busy as well of course. I don't know, just a part of me gets where she's coming from, but I think breaking up with me was too harsh. I still love her, and I know she still loves me."

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. That's life, you never know, maybe she'll wanna get back together with you and visit."

"I wish," I laugh at her optimism. "It's been four days and I haven't heard from her at all. I honestly have left this hotel room about twice, but not even the hotel itself. I've been binge eating and crying a lot," I admit.

"My baby's heart is breaking," she frowned. "I'm gonna have a word with this Annie girl, how dare she-"

"Mum, that's life," I repeat and try to smile. "She said she'd see me before I left, I don't know if that's true anymore."

"It will be," she nods. "And if it isn't, she never cared about you as much as you did her."

"I'll make note of that," I nod.

"I'm back!" I heard in the background of the video call.

"Get over here!" My mum urged my sister. "Your brother has something to tell you."

"What is it?" My sister asks. "Hi!" She cheers when she sees me and I do the same back.

"So, uh," I smile. "I'm coming back home for a bit."

○○○

"Glad to see you, finally," Chris smiles before patting me on the back and welcoming me into the studio.

I greet the band quickly before taking my seat. It was time to announce the tour.

"Hey, buddy," Mitch smiled and patted me on the back.

I got sympathetic looks from the whole crew, I wasn't sure if they knew what happened between Annie and I or if they could just tell I wasn't feeling quite up to anything.

"How are we all doing?" I smile and get in the excited mindset I should be in.

"We are all pretty fucking pumped," Sarah got up and declared. "We all wanted to take a minute to thank you for being yourself, for choosing us to ride along this journey of yours, and we wanted to tell you that we are beyond proud of you and all your artistic talent."

"Thanks guys," I start getting a bit emotional. "Aw, shucks," we all laugh a bit.

"We wouldn't wanna be with anyone else," Ryan adds.

"He's right," Alex nods.

"I wouldn't wanna be with anyone else either," I smile at them all. "I'm excited for what's to come, and I know you all are too."

"Are we ready?" Chris inquires.

"Are we?" I look over at the band. "Are you all ready to jet off to London for a couple of weeks and go around the UK with me? Please," I add.

"Of course we are," Mitch nodded.

"Let's do it," Jeff stood up and we all got closer to the computer where all our attention was needed.

"So what now?" I ask as I take the only seat.

"Now," Chris started. "You click publish."

"Guys," I look back one last time. "There isn't any going back once I click this."

"Do it dude," Ryan urged me.

Then I realized it was just me who wasn't quite sure if this was what I wanted. If leaving Annie behind was what I wanted.

Then her saying she didn't want to be the reason I stayed behind and stopped pursuing my dreams made me click on the publish button.

"Guys," Chris looked at us all. "The tour is officially announced."

"Yes!" We all cheer and begin to hug each other.

I hugged everyone in the band before heading over to Chris and giving him a huge hug.

"I wouldn't be here without you, brother," I smile as we step back from one another.

"Likewise," he smirked. "I'm happy for you."

"Thank you," I smile. "Likewise," I wink and we have a laugh.

"Better get to packing," he jokingly added. "We're out of here in three days."

"Three days," I repeated and nodded. "Three days!" I yelled this time around so everyone could hear. "Get your instruments ready, boys and girls. We're headed to London."