Things We Lost In the Fire

Who Said It'd Be Easy?

Prince's Perspective

We're having a baby.

The last thing I thought she was going to tell me was that she was pregnant. I had my suspicions when she fell ill at the video shoot but I went along with what she reassuringly told me.

When I untied the gift box and laid my eyes on the newborn onesie, it felt like I was in a dream. Was I really getting another chance at bringing a child into this world?

As the overwhelming happiness set in I had to pull the mother of my unborn child in my arms and hold her. I didn't think it was possible to fall deeper in love with her.

The funny thing is, our fears were manifesting inside of one another simultaneously. As I sucked on her bountiful lower lip, the wheels in my head began to turn. I was so happy in that moment,  but I was so afraid we wouldn't make it past the first trimester.

Just as I was about to whisper in her ear my feelings, she beat me to the punch. Watching those angst-filled tears fall down her rosy cheeks only made me realize I have to keep a positive outlook for her. We both can't be worrying in this situation.

So many things have to be done before this baby comes into the world. For starters, I need to cancel my upcoming tour that was set to start in May. I have to get together with Maria to discuss making Jazz an entire maternity wardrobe. Certain updates in and around Paisley Park need to be done. The house, we need to make a decision about a house.

Jazz and I had been looking into houses to rent because let's face it, her house is too small. She wasn't too keen on living at Paisley Park and my house on Galpin definitely was not an option. We just needed something for the time being. I purchased a piece of land in June not too far away from my house now on Galpin Blvd. with the intentions of building a brand new home as a wedding present for Jasmin. After the heated words we had, construction halted and did not start up again until early September. At this rate I'm not sure if the house will be done by June, especially with the upcoming winter months that are going to be a detriment on construction.

The main thing I'm concerned about is our wedding and my pending divorce. Although Jazz says it's not a big deal to her, I don't want our baby being born out of wedlock. The problem is, Mayte won't sign the divorce papers. I know Jazz will be against it but I may need to have a chat with Mayte face to face.

It's still a toss up whether I am going to tell Jazz about the meeting. This pregnancy has already taken a toll on her so far. From her headaches and recurrent nausea, her mood has shifted dramatically. We've also had a scare.

One afternoon not long after a second round of lovemaking, a wave of cramps hit her. It scared the shit out of me when she clutched her lower abdomen. I thought it was the beginning of what I feared was going to happen with this pregnancy.

Calling her doctor's office, they assured her that as long as she hadn't had any severe pain or heavy bleeding the minor cramping was normal. After I drew her a warm bath her cramping did subside, however I didn't want to risk the cramps returning.

When I pushed her away that night, she became so frustrated she started crying and accused me of cheating. I love her too much to hurt her. Do you think I would be stupid enough to risk losing Jasmin and what we have?

I can understand her anger, but I don't think she understands my concern. There's nothing more that I want right now than for her and the baby to be okay.

November 13, 1999

It's been set in stone for months now that Jazz and Noah were coming to Europe with me for the last two weeks of the month. With the pregnancy she's been sick practically everyday so now I'm not sure if she'll have the energy to go.