Things We Lost In the Fire

What's Most Important

January 22, 2000

"Yeah Trina my television is on BET right now—oh my god, does he even have underwear on?!", I gasped. My eyes were as wide as can be while watching the rather sensual video for D'Angelo's new jam Untitled (How Does It Feel?).

I couldn't help but look on and admire his toned chestnut physique. I mean he's cute if you like that sorta thing, but he a'int nothing compared to my man.

Twisting a ringlet of my hair around my index finger and snickering at my friends antics, I failed to notice the masculine figure that was leaning over the back of the couch watching me.

"Jazz, what are you watching?", P calmly asked.

I don't even know why I scurried to flip the channel because I could tell by the way his amber eyes bore into me that I was caught.

"Um, Trina I'll call you back." As soon I closed my phone I turned around to kneel on the couch. "Hey P-nut," I nervously laughed.

He shook his head side to side while he scolded me in a playful tone, "Don't 'P-nut' me. I saw you lusting over that video."

Now he knows me better than that. "I was not."

"Lie again."

I bit down on my bottom lip in order to suppress my smile. "I just so happened to be admiring the artistry of that video that's all."

He made his way around the couch and sat next to me. "Is that right?"

With the guidance of his hand pulling my right calf onto his lap, I was immediately comforted by the feel of his warm hands massaging my tense muscles.

"That's right, you know I only have eyes for you."

"Mhm, you better."

I gently tapped the tip of his button nose and said, "And you better too, you're all mine." My tone was playful, however I was dead serious.

"Jazz, you will never have to worry about me straying. My heart and soul belongs to you and our children."

I had pushed any opposing thoughts I had to the back burner. Although I knew his track record was not the cleanest, I wanted to believe that when he expressed his desire to spend the rest of his life with me that his old ways had died and he could be faithful. That's the only way I could think to keep my sanity.

He rubbed his left hand below my belly button. When our baby kicked the palm of his hand his eyes lit up in sheer elation. P had the biggest grin. "I see daddy's baby is wide awake."

I rested my elbow on the back of the sectional and propped my head up in the palm of my hand. "Daddy's baby was moving a lot last night, I swear it felt like he was doing gymnastics with all that tumbling."

I hadn't even realized what had slipped from my lips until I noticed how big P's eyes had grown. "He?! We're having a son?!"

I held my hands up as I corrected myself. "Honey I don't know, it just slipped out. I had a dream last night about a little baby boy but I wouldn't rely on a dream as a way of knowing the gender."