This is Not What I Had Planned || Joshler [Completed]

24: Hole In The Ground

A/N
I was gonna post this yesterday but I got home and realized that the chapter I wrote didn't save. At all. So I had to rewrite it as best as I could
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✮Tyler's POV✮

Today is the day. My first gig. This is the first time I'll be singing in front of someone that isn't Josh or our friends. We hadn't even left our apartment yet and I felt my chest grow tighter. I tried to calm down.

"You okay?" I looked up at Josh. He held my face softly in his hands. "It's gonna be great. You're gonna be great." He kissed my forehead and helped me stand. "Now let's go!"

The drive to the venue was horrifying. I spent the whole ride imagining every possible way I could mess up. Josh could tell I was tense and he held my hand.

When we got there, Josh helped me set up. Patrick and Pete showed up early as well. They were drinking beers that Pete's fake ID supplied. Gerard showed up with Ray, Mikey, and Frank. The image of Frank and Gee kissing flashed back into my mind and I looked back at the cord I was unraveling. I was told to sit in a back room until the show started.

I just paced around the green room. I watched the minute hand on the clock move slowly toward the 6. It had just reached the 5 when the door opened. I turned to see who it could be and I almost lost my mind.

"Mom?" I asked, walking towards her. She hugged me tight and I ducked my head into her hair. "What are you doing here? How did you even know I had a show?"

"Josh called us," she said. I looked up and my dad walked into the room.

I should've known he would call my parents. I remember having the conversation with Josh. I told him that I didn't want my parents to come. I couldn't have that much pressure for my first show. My hands were already starting to shake. My dad hugged me and I tried to smile at them.

"Oh, um, great!" I tried to sound as honest as I could. "Well, I kind of need to be alone before the show. Y'know, to get in the zone." I hoped that it would work.

My mom gave me a knowing look and said, "Right, of course! We'll just go out there with your friends. It'll be nice to finally meet them!"

When they left, I let out a frustrated groan. I tugged at my hair and tried to take deep breaths. Walking out of the room was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it was also one of the best things.

I walked onstage and suddenly felt at home. I looked down at Josh and my friends and my parents and smiled. Knowing that what I was doing meant so much to me made it even better.

I started with one of the first songs I'd ever written. It was one I wrote sophomore year of high school. I sat down at the keyboard and let my hands rest on the first keys. The track began and I played the first chords along with it.

You once were oh-so-close
But I don't remember
Where you are and who you know
But come this September
You will fly on your own
Cause you got a letter
You must find, find your home
And it won't get much better

I looked out at the people watching. I looked past the people I knew and at the strangers. Two men were at the bar with their backs to me, but another guy next to them was watching. He took a sip of his beer and I looked away.

And my own two hands
Will start bleeding again
And floor will turn to
To a hole in the ground

I looked to Josh for reassurance before the next part. No one else really knew that I "rapped" and I wasn't sure how they would react. I don't exactly look like someone who would. He smiled and I smiled back.

The plans that I make, roads that I take
Break to holes that will go where I don't know, they
Are solid grounds illusions that write themselves off
As perfectly normal solutions
Pollution's in my eyes
My disguise will take me, break me
Won't save me this time

Hayley woo'd and I tried not to laugh. I kept going and my arms moved in their own way. I was starting to let loose. I knew I was twitching but no one seemed to care. They were listening.

Do not be alarmed
If I fall into the sun
If I fall
And my own two hands will start bleeding
And then they will lower me
In to, to a hole in the ground

I played the last chord and moved my hands away. Everyone clapped. Even the two guys who refused to look at me. I thanked everyone and introduced the next song.