This is Not What I Had Planned || Joshler [Completed]

4: Street Poetry

✮Tyler's POV✮

3:46am

I blinked at the hazy numbers appearing on the screen of my phone. I just stared as the picture faded to black. I sighed in defeat, setting my phone on the bedside table.

I sat up and slid out of bed as quietly as I could. I took silent steps to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and locked it. I just stared at my reflection.

Have you ever looked in a mirror for so long that your face seems to morph and warp? As I stared at my nose, it seemed to narrow. As I stared at eyes, they hollowed into my skull. As I stared at my mouth, it twisted into a frown.

I looked away from my reflection. My head was pounding and I could feel myself getting hot. I needed to go somewhere. I didn't know where, but I knew I had to go out.

I grabbed a hoodie and slid it onto my shirtless torso. I slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed my phone before leaving the apartment. I jogged down the stairs, quickly maneuvering the corners.

I got outside and looked around me. I was still new to the neighborhood, so nothing looked familiar. I sat down on the front steps on our apartment building and closed my eyes. I just sat in my darkness and listened to the sounds of the street.

All of a sudden, I knew that I had to write. I hadn't brought my journal, so I pulled out my phone and opened my notes.

There's an infestation in my imagination,
I hope that they choke on smoke 'cause I'm smoking them out the basement,
This is not rap, this is not hip-hop,
Just another attempt to make the voices stop,

I shut my eyes for a moment and shook my head. I took a few deep breaths. The sound of a honking car made me flinch and open my eyes again. I watched the headlights disappear and went back to writing.

Rapping to prove nothing,
Just writing to say something,
'Cause I wasn't the only one who wasn't rushing to sayin' nothing,
This doesn't mean I lost my dream,
It's just right now I got a really crazy mind to clean,

I didn't understand a thing you said,
If I didn't know better I'd guess you're all already dead,
Mindless zombies walking around with a limp and a hunch,
Saying stuff like, "you only live once"

I laughed a little at that line. I'd heard Pete say that when everyone came over the other day. Although, I didn't think that Pete was a 'mindless zombie.' I just found the phrase to be silly.

Yea, once
You've got one time to figure it out,
One time to twist and one time to shout,
One time to think and I saw we start now,
Because death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit

"Hey, Ty." I turned around quickly. Josh was standing in the doorway. He looked tired and concerned. "Are you okay?" He took a cautious step toward me. I gave him a small smile. I locked my phone and slid it into my pocket.

"Uh, yeah," I said. He placed a hand on my arm and hugged me to his side. I rest my head against his hip, looking off of the bright lights of the bar across the street.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea." I turned my head so I could look up at him. He smiled down at me, but his eyes were glazed over and half asleep. I felt bad that he woke up and came outside because of me. I felt bad for being such a burden.

"Come on," he said. "Let's get back to bed." I nodded and followed him upstairs. He held the door open for me as I walked in. I took off my shoes and my hoodie before crawling into bed. The bed indented with Josh's body and he was soon pressed against me. I turned towards him and wrapped my arm around his waist.

"Were you writing?" he asked, whispering.

"Mhm," I said. "It wasn't much. I think I just needed to let some stuff out."

"I get it. I'm glad you're okay." I smiled at his words.

He threaded his fingers through my hair. I hummed quietly in delight at the calming feeling. I drifted between states of consciousness as my eyelids grew heavier.

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A/N
Sorry the chapters have been kind of short so far :/

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