"Glass Heart" | Trickster; Edogawa Ranpo

Episode Thirteen On My Life

The huge confession must've been too of a big shock to him. I saw that his red orbs had widened to the limit. Kobayashi quickly avoided eye contact.

"Do you remember the promise you made to me back then? When you said that you was going to show me many things. Is this what you meant?" Kobayashi sheepishly stuttered. 

"Well, sort of. Thinking back, I didn't really show you anything. In fact, it was vice versa. You showed me something instead." I smiled, but really I was panicking. 

Kobayashi turned extremely red when I announced my love for him. Reddest he'll ever get. And seeing him like that made me laugh.

"I'm sorry to confuse you. You don't have to reply." I muttered wryly, looking down.

"That's.. That's not the only thing I'm confused about! You said that you'll teach me to live, so why am I so unsure?" Kobayashi huffed. 

I blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

Kobayashi crouched down. "I thought this gift would leave me if I wouldn't want to die anymore. But I'm still unsure. Why do I want to live and die at the same time? Why....... is it always me?"

A tear drop escaped his eyes. But he quickly wiped it away and hid his head in his knees. 
I sighed. He really has no clue about what life is?

"Kobayashi, you know you're not the only one. And I'm not meaning me. It's part of life to want to live and die. It's normal." 

Kobayashi didn't make a sound. 

"You're lying.."

I hid an angry face. "Why would I lie? Do I look like I would lie to you?"

The silence was getting under my skin. Why does he have to act this way after I just confessed. Boys are so stupid!!! Why would I lie to him?

I carefully stepped off my wheel chair and took a seat next to him in the cool grass. He flinched.

"Hanasaki, remember? He wanted to die and jumped off the second floor and landed in the fountain. You jumped after him.
Akechi, he wanted to protect Hanasaki with a suicidal act.
Inoue must've had suicide thoughts when he couldn't walk anymore.
And I, wanted to die because of boredom. It was a stupid reason.
Out of all these years we've all changed. Time changes your opinion in life. So if you want to find out if you should live or not, live to find the answer. You should think of your gift as a real gift."

I got up and crawled back to my wheel chair. It was getting really dark, and even the street lights flickered on. 

"Kobayashi, you should head ba-"

"Do you want to die?" He suddenly asked me.

"Hmm. Not right now. Bu-. Why do you ask?"

"Nothing." He said relived and hid a smile. 

"Wow, we were so off topic!" I laughed, strolling back. 

"Um. I don't uhh. know- "He began.

"You don't understand what love is right?" I sighed. "Ask Hanasaki." 

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I slowly gobbled down the horrible Instant Ramen my mom brought for me at the store. She thought it was unhealthy for me to eat all the junk food in the hospital so she brought me Ramen and Mini-mart. For the entire day I couldn't stop thinking about stupid Kobayashi.

The doctor waltzed in after I ate to give me a check-up.

"Have you been taking your medication?" He asked.