Secrets ; m.e & n.g

21

After a while I went back to my apartment. It was dark when I got there all of the lights were off and it was dark. At first I thought that everyone was asleep, but after checking the bedrooms I noticed that they were all gone.

"Whatever." I muttered under my breath, annoyed that they had all left. I walked to my room and into the bathroom. The pain inside me was pulling me there, and I did what I had kept from doing for weeks now.

I reached behind the bottles of shampoo standing in the cabinet and pulled out a small blade. A small part of me regretted this, but the rest of me told me to keep going. I drew thin red lines on my skin, blood slowly seeping out.

There were more and more lines showing up on my skin, my mind going numb. A droplet of red dripped onto the floor and I realized just how much harm had been done. Just as I got back to my senses I heard the door to the door to my apartment open.

"So do any of you know where Anna went?"

"Nope didn't find her."

"God, I hope she comes back... look at home broken up Nash looks."

As soon as I heard the voices I rushed and got up. I pulled a towel from the closet and stuck my arm under the sink. The water stung as it poured down my arm and I prayed that the others didn't hear me.

I wrapped my arm and cleaned up the drops of blood that were on the floor. The towel was soiled so I threw it into the laundry, praying that the stain would come out later. I ran into my room and pulled on a long sleeve shirt quickly, then quietly opened the door.

I started to walk down the stairs, praying that they wouldn't creak. A few steps before the bottom, they let out a loud creak. I cursed under my breath as everyone turned to stare at me.

"Anna!" Ella yelled. I glared at her as everyone continued to stare at me.

"I'm so sorry..." Nash said, as he got up and walked over to me. I backed away slightly. He was holding out flowers and his eyes were bloodshot from crying.

"I didn't mean to be such a jealous asshole, I'm sorry for everything. Forgive me?" Nash asked, his voice cracking at the end. I stood there not saying anything, mostly because I didn't know what to say. He reached for my arm and took my wrist, but I winced in pain.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. But, wait.." Nash said, looking at me strangely. I heard Anna and Ryan breath in sharply behind him, and the look on Nash's face changed from confusion to hurt. He gently took my arm and pulled up my sleeve, then unwrapped the bandage.

"I-I didn't mean to e-ever do this to y-you." Nash said, through tears. Nash pulled me into a hug and tears began to form in my eyes. The boys were still sitting on the couch, their mouths hanging wide open. They all looked as if they were about to cry.

"I didn't think this would hurt you." I told Nash, tears slipping down my face. A feeling of guilt settled in me as I looked at all of them.

"You mean more to me than you think you do, Anna. Anything that causes you pain will hurt me. I only want to see you happy, and I will do everything that I can to make sure you always are." Nash said. Tears slipped down my face, as I put my arms around Nash's neck.

"I doubt you really mean that." I whispered.

"I mean it more than I do anything in the word. I love you, Anna." he said. I was taken aback for a bit.

"I love you too." I said, kissing him. I heard Carter cough from the couch, and I stopped kissing Nash and smiled slightly. My smiled disappeared as soon as I looked at the rest of the guys.

"Anna... please never do this again." Cameron said, looking at me sadly.

"I can't promise." I told them.

"We'll always be here for you, please." Shawn said sadly. I looked away from him, unable to say anything.

"Look, Anna. I know what you're feeling. I have my one problems with myself, but please promise me that you will never do anything like this again." Aaron said. I looked at him and he looked miserable. All of the guys looked hurt. I couldn't live with myself.

"I promise." I said quietly. As soon as I said it I was pulled into a hug by Matt.

"We'll be here to make sure that you never have a reason to break that promise." Matt said, squeezing me tighter. All of the guys got up and joined the hug, surrounding me. Knowing that so many people cared about me now made me so happy, and I couldn't help but smile for the first time of that entire night.