Memories [OUAT/Helsa]

Ice Rink

Arendelle
One Year Ago

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?"

She should be glad that her husband cared about her so deeply, worried over the little things that came up to his mind no matter how many times she tried to convince him that she was capable of taking care of herself.

Had it not been the hundredth of time this morning.

"Hans, darling," she sighed as she turned to face him, hands pressed against his cheeks as she made him look into her eyes. "I am a Queen, am I not? I have faced a lot of things, a little outing in the courtyard with children is harmless."

His brows were furrowed as he placed his own hands over hers, squeezing the soft yet cold skin. "But you weren't-"

"Shush, no one is supposed to know, yet." She scolded him with a shake of her head before bringing his face to meet hers in a quick kiss. "It's still our own little secret."

Letting a sigh of defeat, as he found no way to convince his wife to stay inside the castle where the staff would always be around, he moved his hands to wrap around her waist as he kissed the top of her head, over the thick platinum blonde hair.

"Can I get my sister now or what?" There was no sound of the Princess approaching, or perhaps they just did not hear her, as both jumped in surprise before turning to look at Anna standing just at the end of the hall by the door. "The courtyard is just right outside this door you guys, no need for overrated parting kiss."

Elsa laughed then as she parted herself from her husband, though there was an inescapable blush gracing her cheeks. "I'm coming, Anna." Standing on her tiptoes, she planted a peck on his cheek. "I'll see you at dinner."

----

"Are you hiding something?"

Turning to look at her sister with a raised eyebrow, Elsa mustered her best neutral look, which personally was not hard for her given that as Queen she was required to stay stern in front of her council. "What makes you say that?"

The shrug her younger sister gave her was casual as she pressed her lips flat. "I don't know, but you and Hans look so... inseparable. More than normal, that is."

She really wasn't sure if she should stay silent just as she has made Hans did, or should she just tell her sister right there at the spot. Because, as much as she was excited to make this a surprise, a part of her felt just the tiniest of guilt. She had promised no more secrets would be hidden between them, and she had been hiding this one for more than a week.

"Alright, Anna, there is something that I need to-"

"Queen Elsa, Queen Elsa!" There was a hand that tugged on the skirt of her dress that stopped Elsa's words, a pair of excited blue eyes looking up at her framed with caramel locks. "Come play with us on the ice rink!"

She really did not plan on actually playing with the children, her original idea was to provide them with a winter wonderland then she could stand at the sideline to watch.

But really, she was unable to say no to children.

Thus she followed the little girl, holding her hand as Anna walked just a few steps behind her.

Everything was alright.

Until it wasn't.

Her head was light, vision blurring, unable to maintain her balance on the ice as she sunk onto her knees, fresh layer of ice shooting out from her hands as she tried to breathe.

"Elsa!" Anna, who for the past years have been learning how to properly skate to save her from the embarrassment of constantly falling, was at her side in an instant, hands on her shoulders as the Queen held back the urge to have her breakfast came hurling back up.

"I-I'm fine." She managed to breathe out as she shakily got onto her feet with the help of the younger sister. "A headache, is all."

The strawberry blonde haired Princess helped her sister up before letting the two guards stationed for then take over. "Queen Elsa needs rest," she told the children who had gathered with fear in their eyes, fear for the wellbeing of their beloved queen. "You guys continue on, alright?"

----

The pain woke her from her sleep.

After spending the rest of her day on bed, as the doctor suggested her to make sure that she was truly alright, she really did not wish to be writhing in pain when she woke up.

Her stomach felt as if it was twisting her insides, bile starting to rise back up to her throat as she clutched her abdomen, temperature of the room dropping along with her agony.

Warm liquid was running down the inside of her thighs when her handmaidens ran around her, unable to figure out what to do as they waited for the doctor to come in. Her heart raced even faster as panic consumed her, tears gathered in her eyes at the most horrible thought in her mind.

"There's so much blood..."

Her hands were shaking when she lifted them, and the red all over her palms made her sick, sunk her heart into an endless pit of agony, her urge to throw up was now the least of her concern, pushed back as far as she could.

"No, no, no, no, no!" The word was repeated by her lips like an enchantment, an aimless one as she cried, letting out every drop of tear she could produce as the doctor came walking in.

Yet she didn't need him.

She already knew.

----

Her sister's face was so numb when she came in.

Sitting motionlessly on the bed, unsure if she even acknowledge her younger sister at the doorway or even the silent handmaidens working around her, cleaning up the bloodstained sheets and dress.

The doctor told her, told her husband and her brother in-law when they were gathered outside the room earlier.

"You were pregnant." Her words came in a hushed whisper, quiet and almost unheard.

But Elsa nodded her head slowly. She had requested for her sister first instead of her husband, and though Anna's heart was heavily burdened by the news, she let Kristoff handled the mourning husband outside.

"Elsa," She lowered herself to sit by the bed, taking her sister's pale hand, feeling the skin dry after the attempt to clean every drop of blood from it. "I'm so sorry... If only you had told me then-"

"What's the point, Anna?" Her icy blue eyes finally darted to look at her sister's face, a scoff coming from her lips. "I've lost the baby." She pulled her hand from the Princess' grip, balling it into a fist on her lap. "I've lost my child, mine and Hans', the one thing that had us dreaming of the future, gone."

"She was under constant stress of being Queen." The doctor has told them, grim in his face, delivering such news was never being easy. "That, and her magical power might have been the cause of the miscarriage."

The Princess sighed then. There was nothing she could do, and nothing she could say. The pain her sister was going through was nothing she could understand completely, but she knew it was crushing her down. "We'll get through this, Elsa, together. I promise."