lost boy // awsten knight au

chapter sixty-six

"I'm so sorry but i'm really stressed right now as I'm pushing for time on just about everything I have to do, I can't talk right now."

"why don't you want to talk to me?" awsten asks through the phone.

"it's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't. you don't understand awsten."

his end stays silent.

"I have to go, i'll call you eventually."

it was a fight to this point, and it's only mid october.

unless you're here on a hefty scholarship, you're already going to be massively stressed most of the time.

awsten really didn't get any of this.

my classes weren't terrible or anything, overwhelming, but not terrible.

but it just didn't help that I had to work more hours than a full time job every week in order to exist here.

the stress has caused me to do some stupid things that I could never tell awsten about.

I feel like if I had enough time to just enjoy the city and where I am, things wouldn't be this bad.

but I don't have time for anything, I don't even have money for anything.

and when I say I don't have time for anything sleep is included in that.

with everything, I probably get about 30 hours maximum to sleep in a week, do the math and it won't seem like it's as much once it's split among seven days.

no money for anything isn't a joke, were all supposed to be on some sort of meal plan for our freshmen year, but other things are prioritized.

I could have a little more time for things if I wasn't having a panic attack every other day.

and then there's still awsten.

"dammit just focus on this stupid book." I shout and up slamming the book shut and throwing it across the room.

I can't keep doing this.

"awsten..." I start saying into the phone, but I don't even know what to say anymore.

I should've just ignored this call.

"I was trying to say that I'm sorry, what's going on? are you crying?"

"please, just leave me alone." I cry out.

"no, seriously, what's going on?"

"I can't do all of this, or even any of it." I say quietly before hanging up.

within seconds he's calling me back but I don't move towards my phone, now also thrown across the room.

what is life.

•••

"and he said to me: maisie williams, I am extremely impressed with you."

"seriously? he's probably the toughest professor I have." my friend Danny says to me.

"well, I'm just glad that all my hard work is getting noticed." I tell him.

"hey, I'm going out for coffee, come with?"

"hmmm, I dunno."

"please, i'll pay."

"fine, you have persuaded me." I say, caving in.

it was a rough few days, but I had just finished my last class of the day. to make things better, it was a friday and I had the whole weekend to chill.

for the most part, I've gotten a lot done throughout the week so it actually will be mostly chilling out.

"I want to sleep for 14 hours straight."

"tell me about it." I respond.

"would you like to try learning a third language?"

"i'd rather not honestly."

danny was on his way to being trilingual as of right now and wasn't stopping there. he was practically fluent in mandarin, studying arabic, and planning on taking spanish courses over the summer.

can't forget that he eventually wants to learn some french and german as well.

he's a little bit of an over achiever, but he was also majoring in some from of business, currently undecided what part of it. we bond mostly over that, but it's still nice to have a few friends around.

"someone's calling you." he points out after we ordered our drinks.

sure enough, it was awsten. I haven't talked to him since my freak out because I just needed my space. suddenly I feel bad for not even telling him that.

"hello?" I say, pressing the phone to my ear.

"maisie, it's a face time." awsten says.

"oh, yeah, right."

I pull the phone away and I can barely make out his face, he's not in well lit space and the screen is all fuzzy.

"since when did you start wearing glasses?" he asks.

"since my vision turned to shit."

danny starts chuckling from beside me.

"oh, I just haven't seen you wear them before is all."

"yup." this was getting awkward.

"are you busy right now?" awsten asks.

"more or less." I mumble, turning to danny.

danny mouths, who is it?

"well, you've kinda been ignoring me, and what you left off on was extremely concerning."

"do we have to do this right now?" I ask him.

"whatever."

my screen goes black.

just great.

"everything all good?" danny asks.

"my boyfriend and I are just in weird spot right now."

"yeah I know nothing about relationships."

"it's okay."

"you should call him back though." he says.

"probably a good idea."

•••

the next morning I wake up to a text from geoff.

want to tell me why awsten's talking of you cheating?

I told him that danny was my friend.

this is just a bunch of bullshit.