My dead boyfriend's brothers.
Chapter 6
"Oh my God! What are you doing?!" I yelled running over to him and falling down on the floor in front of him. His face was expressionless as he looked at me and then at his arms. I wasn't sure what was going on or what I was supposed to do so I did the first thing that came to mind.
I grabbed the razor blade out of his hand and threw it to the floor, I expected him to object but he still didn't say a word. It looked like he was in some kind of trance. I was really starting to panic at this point so I took a closer look at his arms to see how badly he had hurt himself and was shocked at what I saw. There were thousands of cuts running across both of his arms, some were old scars that have healed completely and some were very new and raw.
The cuts he had just inflicted upon himself were low down on his wrist and were bleeding furiously. I still wasn't sure what to do but I knew I couldn't tell his mom and I knew I couldn't call an ambulance so I ran to his bathroom and grabbed a washing cloth and a towel.
I sat down on the floor in front of him again and gently wiped the two wounds before covering them with the towel.
Ethan still didn't anything but the expression on his face had change from nothing to pain and loss. It looked like he was going to start crying at any moment.
"Are you ok Ethan?" I asked not knowing what else to say.
"No" He answered shortly and I could hear the pain in his voice. His answer shocked me beyond words. I definitely knew he wasn't ok but usually people that were sad or hurting would try to act brave and tell you that they were fine, his answer was so open and honest.
"What can I do to help?" I asked feeling the need to help him fix whatever was wrong.
"You've done enough Karley, just leave me alone and go back to your party" He replied without once looking at me.
His words cut like a knife and stung in my chest all the way back to my house. There was nothing more I wanted then to be with him right now and to help him but he didn't want me too and for some unexplainable reason that really hurt.
I arrived back at my house to find the party in full swing and doubted that anybody even realized that I had left. There were kids everywhere as I made my way into the house. They were dancing, drinking and making out all over the place. I headed to the kitchen and was about to get a cold soda out of the fridge when I felt a strong hand grip my arm and spin me around.
The first thought that crossed my mind was Bret but then I realized it couldn't be him and that it was Ryan. He looked angry and confused and at that moment it all just became too much for me.
I pulled my arm free and walked over to the cupboard where I had packed some of the stronger alcohol and took out one of the bottles without checking what it was. I twisted off the cap and took a few big gulps trying to forget everything. Trying to forget Ethan sitting on his bedroom floor cutting up his arms, trying to forget the kiss I shared with Ryan earlier and most of all trying to forget all the hurt I've been feeling since I lost Bret.
"Are you crazy?!" Ryan shouted grabbing the bottle out of my hand and placing it on the counter.
"Maybe" I answered sarcastically; my mom did threaten to send me to a mental institute after all.
"Do you know what you were drinking?"
"No and I don't care" I replied trying to grab the bottle but Ryan was too fast. He grabbed a hold of both my arms and held them tightly between our bodies.
"You can't drink that stuff clean like that, you'll kill yourself" Ryan said and I noticed that his angered expression of earlier was now replaced with one of concern.
"It doesn't matter, nobody will miss me anyway" I snapped feeling irritated and confused by my own emotions.
"I'll miss you" Ryan replied looking deep into my eyes but it felt like he was trying to tell me more than that.
"No you won't, you've barely seen me the last year so just let me go!" I yelled pulling free from him and running upstairs.
I locked the door behind me trying to block out the party and the world. I ripped off the dress and threw it to the floor as tears started to run down my cheeks. I kicked off my boots grabbed a T shirt and shorts from my closet and headed to my bathroom.
I wiped the dark make up from my face and then I took a long hot shower but the hot water ran out long before I could relax and I had to get out and get dressed. I could still hear the music downstairs and the kids laughing and yelling but I didn't feel like going downstairs and joining in their fun. There was no fun to be had for me, my life was ruined and everything just keeps on getting worse and more complicated every day.
I fell down on my bed and was surprised when I caught myself thinking and worrying about Ethan instead of desperately missing Bret. I laid there for a few minutes trying to shut all thoughts from my mind when I heard a knock at my door.
I tried ignoring it but a few seconds later there was another knock and then came Ryan's voice.
"Come on Karley, open up, I need to talk to you" He shouted over the music and I felt my heart speed up as nerves over took my body. I had this sneaky suspicion that I knew what he wanted to tell me and I just couldn't handle that right now.
