This chapter gets a bit steamy so consider yourself warned!
My dead boyfriend's brothers.
Chapter 12
I've been fantasizing about kissing Ethan the whole day but I never expected it to feel like this. It was as if some emotion I never knew I had was released inside of me when his lips touched mine. I could feel my heart racing in my chest and adrenaline pumping through my veins, I felt alive for the first time in a very long time.
At first the kiss was simple but it quickly grew more intense as the seconds passed by. I felt him pressing his tongue against my lips seeking for entry and I gladly granted it. I've never been kissed like this before, it was like we were kissing to stay alive, like we needed it and won't survive without it.
"I'm sorry" Ethan whispered out of breath as he abruptly pulled away from me. He looked confused and desperate as he looked at me to see what my response would be.
"What are you sorry for?" I questioned not understanding how he could be apologizing for what had just happened.
"For kissing you like that, I shouldn't have done that".
"Then why did you do it?" I asked trying to figure out what he was thinking.
"Because I can't get you out of my head, I think about you all the time" He said looking embarrassed and uncertain of himself.
"I think about you too" I whispered still slightly out of breath before closing the small distance between us and throwing my arms around his neck.
I am tired of feeling the way I've been feeling for the last year and I am tired of wondering and debating with myself over my feelings for Ethan. I wanted to kiss him right now and I wasn't going to think about it, I was just going to do it. I pressed my lips against his softly to see how he was going to react but I didn't have to worry about that. It was very clear that he wanted me as much as I wanted him when he slipped his hands around my waist and kissed me back urgently.
His hands moved up my body causing little sparks of pleasure to run through me. His touch was pure ecstasy and I just couldn't get enough. I let out a moan of pleasure as he pulled my body tightly against his and started placing kisses up and down my neck. He slowly moved his hands down my back causing my skin to break out in goose bumps and finaly rested them on my hips before slipping them in under my top.
The sensation of his hands on my bare skin was extraordinary and I let out another moan unable to contain myself. My moan of pleasure gave him even more assurance that I wanted him and his mouth quickly found mine again. We kissed as he moved his one hand further up my body until he reached my breast. He cupped it in his hand and gently squeezed it before starting to play with my nipple.
The sensation was like nothing I've ever imagined and I secretly wished that he would never stop. This was my own personal heaven and I never wanted to go back to reality.
I grabbed a hold of his shirt and started tugging at it. Ethan realized what I wanted to do and pulled away from me for a few seconds so that I could pull off his shirt. I let it fall to the floor as I took in the sight of his half naked body in front of me. I felt myself tremble as I watched him in shock. I knew he cut his wrist before but I never expected this. His whole body was filled with old scars and barely hilled cuts. Some were still red and I'm sure must still be hurting from the looks of them.
He had a pained expression on his face as he watched my reaction to his scarred body. I felt a mixture of pain, sadness and love all mixed up together as I placed my hands on his chest. The scars didn't change anything, I was still madly attracted to him and I wanted him now more than ever.
"Does it hurt?" I asked tracing one of the scars softly.
"No, it takes the pain away" He replied looking at me with a confused expression on his face.
"Do you want me to leave?" He questioned obviously not sure if I still wanted him after what I've just seen.
"Never" I replied honestly as I moved my hands up his chest until I reached his face. I pulled his face towards mine until our lips touched.
He pulled my body closer to his again as we kissed. His hands roamed my body on top of my clothes until he got tired of them and pulled of my top revealing my naked breasts to him. He cupped them in his hands and kissed me again before he started walking backward in the direction of my bed pulling me with him. We somehow made it to my bed without falling over each other or breaking our kiss.
He turned me around and moved our bodies so that I was lying on the bed with him half way on top of me. He placed kisses down my neck and chest until he reached my breast where he greedily took one of my nipples in his mouth. He played with my breasts for a while before he kicked off his shoes and moved so that he was lying on top of my again.
I moved my hands in between our bodies and started fiddling with the buckle of his belt.
"Stop Karley" He whispered softly into my ear.
"What?" I breathed not believing my ears, how could he possible want to stop now?
"I don't have a condom, I wasn't expecting this" He panted.
"In the bottom drawer of my dresser" I stated remembering where I had put the condoms that I and Bret had bought a year ago. Ethan looked puzzled but didn't argue, he got up off of me and quickly ran over to my dresser where he searched through some clothes before finding the box and walking back to me.
"Check if they haven't expired" I said not sure how long they last. He checked the box and then took one out and threw it on the bed.
He stood there looking at me for a few seconds with puzzled expression on his face but then obviously decided to put whatever was bothering him out of his mind for now. He got back onto the bed next to me and roamed my body with his hands as we kissed. I moved my hands to his buckle again and loosened it without any arguments from him this time.
I slipped my hand into his pants and took a hold of him causing him to moan with pleasure. It only took a few seconds before he started placing kisses down my body again but this time he didn't stop until he reached my pajama shorts. He slipped them and my underwear off and for the briefest of seconds I felt very self conscious but then he looked at me and smiled taking away all my insecurities.
He pulled off his pants and picked up the condom. He opened it, slipped it on and then laid back down on top of me. We kissed some more for a while and then he positioned himself between my legs. He gently pushed himself into me causing a sting of pain that was soon washed away by the waves of ecstasy that was rolling through my body. We kissed and touched and made love until our bodies arched and exploded with pleasure.
