My dead boyfriend's brothers.
Chapter 8
As soon as I did it I regretted it, not because I didn't want to be hugging Ethan but because I wasn't sure how he would react to it. I thought he was going to pull away and shut me out but instead he surprised me by slipping his arms around me and hugging me back. It felt strange holding him in my arms but yet it felt so right at the same time that I started getting nervous and pulled away.
Luckily Ethan didn't notice the panicked look on my face and if he did he must have put it down to concern for him. He walked over to his stereo and turned up the volume.
"What are you playing?" I asked walking over to him. I didn't know the band but I recognized it from the last time I was in his room.
"Slipknot" He answered and handed me the cd cover. I checked it out and skipped through a few songs while Ethan went to go sit on his bed. The music was rough and different from anything I've listened to before but after listening to a few songs I decided that I liked it.
Ethan didn't say anything, instead he just sat on his bed staring at me with a confused expression on his face. I wasn't sure what to do or to say to him but I also knew I couldn't stand in front of his stereo the whole night so I walked over to his bed and sat down on the opposite side so that we were looking at each other.
It felt a bit strange sitting on his bed with him but I pushed the feeling aside and concentrated on what I came here for, to help Ethan.
"Why did you leave my party earlier?" I questioned hoping he wasn't going to freak out on me.
"Because you invited him" He replied looking down at his hands.
"Who?" I asked already knowing the answer.
"Ryan" He replied and I realized that he wasn't going to make this easy for me, if I wanted answers I was going to have to drag them out of him.
"Was it because I invited him or because we were kissing?" I asked figuring I might as well get to the point.
"Both" He answered still looking at his hands.
"I don't understand why it upset you so much, tell me so that I can help you" I said hoping I wasn't pushing too hard.
"Ryan's a fucken self centered asshole, that's why I got angry when I saw him and you... why would you kiss him?" Ethan questioned looking up at me for the first time since we started talking. He looked me straight in the eyes and I could see the hurt and pain in his eyes that's been haunting him over the last year.
His answer didn't make any sense, they were always such a close family. What could Ryan possible have done to make Ethan hate him so much?
"I... I didn't want to kiss him" I stuttered feeling embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
"Fucken shithead... I'll kill him!" Ethan yelled jumping off from the bed and storming off towards the door.
I had such a fright from his outburst that it took me a few seconds to react.
"No, it's not like that!" I yelled jumping off the bed and running to him before he could open the door.
"Not like that? Then tell me what it is because either you were kissing him or he was forcing himself on you!?" Ethan shouted looking furious.
"He kissed me and I kissed him back but I didn't want to kiss him. Every time I see him or talk to him I think of Bret and when I was dancing with him I got so caught up in the moment that I was imagining that I was kissing Bret" I said as tears escaped my eyes and started running down my face.
I saw the look on Ethan's face change from anger to sympathy and sadness as he took a step closer and gently wiped the tears from my face with his hand. Once again I didn't expect his reaction or the feelings it stirred up in me. His touch set my skin on fire and I felt my heart speed up.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was that bad for you" Ethan said taking a step away from me but still looking at me with those pained blue eyes.
"Yea, it's been tough" I whispered trying not to burst into tears again. Ethan didn't say anything more, instead he walked over to his bead and sat down again, I think he was trying to hide the hurt he was feeling because I could see the tears building up in his eyes as I spoke about Bret.
"Can I stay a while? We don't have to talk about Ryan or Bret or my stupid party. We can just hang out" I asked as I walked over to his bed.
"You want to hang out with me?" He questioned as a small smile appeared on his face.
"Yip, I do" I replied and was amazed at how seeing him smile automatically made me feel better.
"Ok but before we completely forget about your party I have something to give you" Ethan said as I sat down on his bed again. He took a small box from his bed side table and handed it to me. It was covered in pink wrapping and I couldn't believe I didn't notice it before, it looked completely out of place in his room.
I opened the box slowly wondering what it could be and was surprised when I saw the prettiest necklace I have ever laid eyes on. It wasn't made of gold or diamonds but it was beautiful. It was a black choker with a silver rose charm hanging from it.
"I know it's not much but..." Ethan started saying but I cut him off.
"No but's, it's absolutely stunning" I said taking it out of the box to get a closer look.
"It would look really nice with the dress you had on tonight, I hope you know how beautiful you looked" Ethan said taking the choker from my hands and loosening it.
His words made my stomach twist and I could feel I was blushing. I was hoping that I looked sexy or hot in the dress but somehow hearing that Ethan thought I looked beautiful was the only thing I really needed to hear.
"Can I put it on for you?" Ethan asked.
"Yes" I answered and cursed myself for the way I was feeling. I wanted Ethan to move closer to me, I wanted to feel his touch again.
