My dead boyfriend's brothers.
Chapter 29
Ethan's funeral was the next Monday. A lot of people I didn't know showed up but I could tell that they were only there because they had to be. His dad came back from wherever he was but only stayed until the service was over then left again. Ethan's mom showed up drunk and had to be calmed down after having a very loud breakdown in the middle of the service.
My parents accompanied me to the service wanting to keep an eye on me. After what happened with Ryan the paramedics had rushed me to the emergency room. I was bruised up pretty badly and had to get eight stitches on the back of my head. Ethan died before they arrived.
Ryan was arrested for two counts of murder and one for attempted murder. He was locked up immediately and his trial is scheduled to take place sometime soon. The detective working on the case assured me that he would be found guilty and that he would pay for what he did. I wanted to see him suffer but there was nothing I could do so I guess I'll just have to be satisfied with the fact that he is behind bars and will probably get life or the death penalty with any luck.
When everybody had left I went back home with my parents. I haven't spoken to them since it happened, I haven't spoken to anybody except for the cops and that was only to make sure that Ryan got locked away. I could hear them talking when they didn't think that I was listening. They were worried about me and how I was going to cope with this. They had decided that once I had recovered from my injuries they were going to get me some psychiatric help.
I didn't need help, I needed Ethan alive.
After dinner I spoke to my parents for the first time. I wanted to go visit Ethan and I knew I would have to ask them, they were watching me very closely so there was no way of sneaking out.
"I want to go visit Ethan and Bret" I said hoping that they would agree.
"I don't know if that is such a good idea" My mom said nervously.
"Please" I begged looking at them with pleading eyes.
"Ok but we are going with you" My mom agreed looking at my dad for approval.
"No! There are some things I need to tell them, I want to be alone" I half shouted as tears started to sting at my eyes.
"I don't know" My dad said as he and my mom exchanged looks.
"How about I'll drive you there and then when you are done you phone me to come pick you up again?" My mom suggested and I could tell that it was the best offer I was going to get.
"Ok, thanks. I'm just going to go get my bag" I said as I turned my back on them and started making my way to my room. Once I was inside I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath as I fought against the tears. I couldn't show any sight of weakness now or my mom might change her mind.
I took another deep breath to calm myself, grabbed my bag and headed to the living room where my mom was waiting for me. She drove me to the graveyard in silence and by the time we got there the little bit of sun that was left for the day was hidden by thick clouds.
"Call me as soon as you are done" My mom said as I got out of the car. I shook my head in agreement without saying a word. I had nothing to say to her or to anybody else, this was the end after all.
I made my way through the graveyard to where Bret and Ethan laid buried next to each other. The sight of their graves unleashed the storm of tears that I've been holding in and I collapsed on the ground between their graves. Pulling my bag alongside me I crept to Ethan's grave and sat down on it with my back against the headstone.
"I'm so sorry. I love you" I whispered to the both of them as I searched through my bag. I felt something sharp cut my finger and knew that I had found what I was looking for. I pulled out the razor blade that Ethan had used to cut his wrist the last time I found him in Bret's room. I smiled at the thought of being with Ethan and Bret again as I grabbed a hold of the razor blade and sliced my wrist using as much force as I could.
The pain was sharp and shot through my body but it didn't stop me. My hand felt numb so I placed the blade between my fingers and pressed my other wrist on top of it. I pulled over it as hard as I could and felt more pain shoot though my body. Blood was running fiercely from both my arms now and I could feel my body going numb as my vision started to blur. I knew it wouldn't be long now but I wasn't afraid. I laid my head back against Ethan's gravestone and let the darkness I longed for consume me.
THE END
