My dead boyfriend's brothers.
Chapter 10
"Can I ask you something?" Ryan asked.
"Ok" I replied hesitantly not sure if I was in the right state of mind to be answering any questions.
"Where did you go last night after we kissed? You looked completely freaked out and then you just took off" Ryan asked.
"I... I just didn't expect it, I needed some air". I answered figuring it wasn't a complete lie. I really never expected to be kissing Ryan at my seventeenth birthday party.
"I understand. I never imagined that it would really happen, it's just that all these feelings I have for you overwhelmed me when you were in my arms and it just felt right at the time". Ryan replied smiling at me.
"It's ok, don't worry about it and I'm sorry for freaking out like that" I replied knowing that it was my fault for leading him on.
Ryan stood up from the couch and walked over to the stereo. He selected a cd and pressed the play button before returning to me.
"I was hoping we could finish our dance" He said holding his hand out to me once again. I found myself torn between doing the right thing and following my heart. I hesitated for a second but eventually gave in to temptation and slipped my hand into his. He pulled me up and led me to the middle of the floor where he pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me.
My heart skipped a beat as he did this and I could feel my breathing get heavier as we slowly moved across the floor. His body felt warm and comfortable against mine and for the first time since I phoned Ryan and invited him to my birthday party I wasn't thinking of Bret. I knew it was Ryan holding me in his arms and for some unexplainable reason I didn't want him to let go.
The song came to an end and I felt him pulling his body away from mine which caused a sudden burst of anxiety to run through my body. I didn't want him to let go just yes so I pulled him closer as the next song started playing. I felt his body stiffen for a second and then I felt his arms tighten around me. I could feel his warm breath on the side of my face and I found myself wanting to kiss him.
I cursed myself silently for even allowing such a thought to enter my mind and tried pushing it aside but failed miserably.
"Don't worry I'm not going to kiss you" Ryan whispered into my ear softly causing tingles of pleasure to run through my body. I was confused about these new feelings that I was having but was tired of fighting them too. I knew this was Ryan not Bret and I still wanted him to kiss me...
"I want you too" I whispered softly feeling confused and nervous, I knew what I wanted at this moment but I still wasn't sure if I was making the right decision. Ryan pulled away from me quickly this time not giving me a chance to object and took a step back eyeing me suspiciously.
"Are you sure?" He questioned looking concerned.
"No I'm not sure but I still want you to kiss me" I answered honestly.
"I'm not in a hurry Karley, you can take all the time you need"
"I don't want time, I just want you to kiss me" I stated sounding a lot braver then I felt. I didn't want to think about Bret or Ethan or my life at this moment. I just wanted to feel the warmth of his body and the taste of his lips against mine.
He must have realized the desperation that was pulsing through me because he didn't argue any further, instead he closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms. His touch was gentle as if he was trying not to hurt me in any way.
He stared into my eyes for a few seconds and then slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. The kiss was gentle and completely different from the kiss we shared last night. It was like I was kissing Ryan for the first time. The kiss was soft and gently and much too short. He started pulling away but I refused to let go. I moved my arms from where they were hanging beside me to around his neck and pulled his face closer to mine.
I knew he wanted me by everything he's told me but I could feel the hesitation in his movements as I moved so that our bodies were pressed together tightly.
"Don't' stop" I whispered softly into his ear hoping that he would grant me my wish and kiss me again.
"I can't do this if you're not sure" He replied.
"I am sure, please just kiss me" I half begged expecting him to pull away but instead I felt him place a soft kiss right beneath my ear causing goose bumps to break out over my body and butterflies to erupt in my stomach.
He continued placing kisses down my jaw until he reached my mouth and pressed his lips against mine. The kiss started off slow and gentle at first but soon grew more intense and passionate as he slipped his tongue into my mouth and kissed me the way I wanted him too.
