(7) My dead boyfriend's brothers

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My dead boyfriend's brothers.

Chapter 7

I considered ignoring him but figured I was going to feel guilty about it later so I got up and opened the door. I felt irritated and angry at myself for ever agreeing to have the stupid party but all my anger and irritation disappeared as I looked up at Ryan.

"Can I come in?" He asked looking a bit nervous.

"Uhm... ok" I replied hesitantly. I didn't want to be rude to him after he made the effort to come to my party but I didn't trust my emotions around him. It was like all my feelings for Bret materialized every time I was with him and after the kiss we shared earlier I wasn't sure what to expect.

I stepped aside letting Ryan in and walked over to my desk and sitting down in the chair figuring it was safer than sitting on the bed. Ryan looked around my room and decided to stand by the window on the far side of my room.

"I wanted to apologize for kissing you earlier, it was completely out of line" He said looking at me with his puppy dog eyes causing my heart to race.

"It's ok, don't worry about it" I replied trying to sound confident but feeling like a confused nervous wreck.

"No it's not ok, I saw the way you reacted and I wanted to explain myself" He said walking over and sitting down on the edge of my bed so that he could be closer to me.

"I don't want to talk about it" I objected but Ryan was obviously not going to give in that easy.

"You don't have to say anything, just let me say what I need to say and then if you want me to leave I'll go without another word" He said pleadingly.

"Ok, say whatever it is you want to say" I said giving in to him like I knew I would.

"I've always liked you Karley, since the first time I met you but you were my little brother's girl and I respected that so I never told you how I felt and of course there was the age difference between us which might have caused a problem but now..." Ryan said trailing off and looking at me with hope in his eyes.

"But now what? Now that Bret is dead you think you can just move in and take his place!" I snapped feeling outraged.

"No! That's not what I want at all. I just wanted a chance to get to know you and for you to get to know me. I'm in love with you Karley and no matter how much I've tried I can't seem to forget you" Ryan said softly as he got up from my bed and kneeled down in front of me.

"Please say something" He whispered pleadingly.

I... I don't know what to say" I stuttered still shocked by his confession.

"Say that you forgive me and that you'll give me another chance so that I can prove myself to you" Ryan begged. I didn't know what to say or do, I was so confused but couldn't bear hurting him so I agreed.

"Ok, I forgive you" I whispered wondering if I was doing the right thing.

"Thank you Karley, I promise you won't regret it" Ryan said getting up from the floor in front of me and walking to the door. I got up from the chair and followed behind him wondering what I was letting myself in for. When he got to the door he turned around and faced me.

"I'll call you" He whispered with a huge smile on his face and then disappeared down the hallway.

I felt confused and still couldn't get the image of Ethan sitting on the floor cutting his wrists out of my head so I decided to phone him. I wasn't sure if he was going to answer but I figured it was worth a shot. His phone rang for a while before he answered.

"Hi Karley" He answered with a shaky voice.

"Hi, are you ok?" I asked automatically thinking the worst.

"No not really"

"What's wrong? Tell me please, maybe I can help" I begged hoping that he would let me help him.

"Everything" He answered causing my heart to break.

"Can I come over?" I asked hesitantly not sure if I would really be able to help him but knowing that I had to try.

"Ok" He answered and then the phone went dead.

I threw my cell phone in my bag and grabbed my keys as I ran out of my room and to my car for the second time tonight. I didn't really pay much attention to the kids as I ran past them but couldn't help but notice that the party had settled down a bit and that there were quite a few passed out kids scattered around the house.

I jumped in my car and sped off to Ethan's house wondering what I was going to find when I got there. My car came to a screeching stop in his driveway and I dashed up to his front door and rang the bell. I didn't wait too long this time and was surprised when Ethan opened the door and not his mom.

He didn't say anything but stepped aside so that I could enter and locked the door behind us. I followed him in silence until we got to his room.

"What's going on?" I asked taking a step closer and was taken by complete surprise as I saw tears escape his eyes. I didn't think about what I did next or what it meant, instead I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him.

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