Just A Job (Lauren/You)

Chapter 32

It's been three days and still not a wink of sleep.

I've rarely left my bed besides to eat and go to the bathroom. Sure, I've told Luis and Camila I was going to get Lauren back but how? I had no fucking idea how I was going to get to her. I needed to talk to her, that's the plan, but how could I do that if she wouldn't answer any of my calls?

I stifled a groan as I slowly got down from my bed. I watched the sun rise an hour ago and now, I could hear my mom cooking in the kitchen. As if on cue, my stomach growled in anticipation for breakfast. I took some time to somewhat clean myself in the bathroom before I went down to the kitchen. The dark circles under my eyes were more prominent now and the contours of my face were etched with deep lines. My chin was darkening from the stubble I refused to shave off my face because I was too lazy.

Long story short, I looked horrible.

"Good morning, Y/N. Got your breakfast on the table." She smiled at me the moment she heard my padded footsteps approaching. I took a seat on the table and ate some pancakes. But she was also cooking bacon and eggs and I began to wonder why she was cooking so much food so I asked her about it.

"Well, you always look exhausted even though you stay in your room all day so I thought I'd cheer you up with food," she told me with a smile and no judgement in her eyes.

"Here you go, honey," she said putting bacon and eggs on my now empty plate. She put some on her own plate and sat beside me. The way she handled dad a few days ago was still fresh on my mind and since then, my mother had this distinct glow about her. She was always smiling now and she just seemed genuinely happy. Maybe her outburst was born from dad's incessant need to overpower her. Well, that was all gone now.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Even from under my dad's shadow, my mom's still supported me from the start. That was something I failed to see years ago. I condemned her of being afraid of my father when in reality, she was silently protecting me from him the whole time. There was no doubt in my mind that she'll understand what I'm going through right now.

"Lauren and I broke up." It was all I needed to say for her to put her arms around my shoulders and pull me in for a hug. She rubbed my back as I felt the prick of tears in the corner of my eyes again. It seemed like my tears would never run out for the loss of Lauren in my life.

I pulled away from her before the tears could fall. "It's my fault, mom. I lied to her about my past, about Ariana—about everything."

"Why did you lie?"

"Because I thought I was doing her a favor from being dragged down by my past. But now I realize, I was only isolating her from an important part of my life. I pushed her away. And maybe, for her, it felt like I was hiding something from her, or worse—rejecting her." She held my hand while I spoke and that made pouring my heart out a little bit more bearable.

"What should I do, mom?" I asked her.

"I can't tell you what to do, son. I can only support your decisions. Do you love her?"

"I do. So much."

A smile crossed her face as she reached out her hand and stroked my hair. "I believe you. And I think the mere fact that you were brave enough to introduce her to your dad even after what happened last time proves that you care about her. But, Y/N, don't rush anything. Give her some space for her thoughts."

"But what if she moves on? What if she forgets about me? I can't lose her, mom." It was my greatest fear—that she'd realize she deserved better and she'll leave me forever. Even more than I can't take her not being with me, it would kill me ten-fold to see her happy with someone else. I probably should say I'd be happy as long as she was but I wasn't going to lie anymore. I didn't want her to be happy with some other person.