Just A Job (Lauren/You)

Chapter 44

Lauren's POV

"It's my fault."

"No, honey. Don't say that," said Liz, stroking my back.

"No, it's my fault. I wanted him to remember me so I—"

"Lauren."

All of us looked up at the sound of Dr. Davids' voice. Here we were again, in Dr. Conrad's office, trying to make sense of what was happening to Y/N. His cries and his screams were still present in my head ever since he was put to sleep a couple of days ago. I don't know how many times I apologized to his parents for causing him pain. I don't know how I did it but I hurt him—the one thing I vowed never to do again.

They immediately did another CT scan on him but they never told us what they saw. Dr. Davids said she wanted to talk to Y/N when he woke up. And he did. Thank god, he woke up. I don't know what I would've done if I was the reason why he was in a coma again. They said it was okay for us to talk to him again, but I couldn't set foot in that room. I couldn't let him see me again when the last thing I saw was the pain in his eyes before he closed them and let the sedation take over his body.

So I just stood in the hall and watched as he talked to his parents and even the girls like nothing was wrong. But I knew better.

"It is your fault," she continued, affirming what I believed all along. "But this is progress because now, we have more insight to what's really going on in his brain."

"I almost killed him," I whispered incredulously. No one in the world could withstand the sort of pain he went through. Tears trickled down his face as he kept screaming for the pain to stop. I felt the pain in his eyes, I felt the pain in his voice—I felt everything.

Dr. Davids gave me a reassuring smile. "He's stronger than that, Lauren. We found nothing indicating he's going to die. But I do have some theories about what happened." She moved to the table and sat on top of it. "You see, I think that your kiss with him... made him remember you."

"What?" I thought it was me who said it but it was Liz who spoke up at her words. But I just looked patiently, waiting for Dr. Davids to clarify. There was a 'but', there always is. It couldn't be this easy, right?

"But, it seems like he's rejecting your memories. Take the immune system for example. When a virus enters our body, the white blood cells fight it off most of the time, right? It's because the virus is foreign and shouldn't be inside our body. I think that's what Y/N's brain is trying to do."

"I don't—I don't understand," stuttered Liz.

But I understood perfectly. And it didn't lessen the pain one bit.

Dr. Davids sighed and said the words right out of my mouth. "His memory of Lauren is the virus. His brain is fighting it off. In short? He's rejecting it." She moved her head and her eyes landed on me. "He's rejecting Lauren."

The silence that followed was unbearable. Four people in the room gave me their own sorry looks and I hated it. I hated it because it was unfair. I know how much I talk about strength and how I was going to stand by Y/N no matter what but why does all of this keep happening to me? Why am I the only one getting hurt? Why am I the only one he couldn't remember? What the fuck did I do to deserve all this?

"There's got to be a way, right?" It was Hugh that broke the silence. Dr. Davids looked down at the floor while Dr. Conrad sighed and shook his head.

"There's not," he said. "The best and, at this point, the only way for Y/N to regain his memories is by remembering them himself. We need to—"

"No! You listen to me!" All of us were surprised by the intensity of his voice. There was fire in his eyes as he pointed at Dr. Conrad who looked taken aback by his sudden change of attitude.