Where Do Broken Hearts Go.

Part 36.

Harry POV: I was here, at the only place it was going to be totally, completely, eternally difficult to find you. But what else was there to do? I was searching every lonely place, and this was definitely a lonely place. "If I ever want to get lost somewhere, I want to go someplace no one would ever find me. Some place like Black Forrest Germany."
Those words you had once said to me, kept replaying in my head, and I was totally convinced this was going to be the place. I walked into a random little shop once I rented a car and drove to the location of the forest from the airport, and I purchased random items that I would need in order to walk from here. I got a travel backpack, several water bottles, a sandwich for later, a flashlight, a whistle, and a safety kit. I don't know if I would encounter wild animals over there, so it was best to play it safe. 
Once I was done, I decided it was now or never. I was going to walk into that forest, no matter how dangerous it could be, and I was going to look for you. 
You had to be here, you just had to. The more time passed, the more worried I became that I would never get the chance to tell you how I really felt. 
Several thoughts came into my mind, but not positive ones. 
For instance, are you sleeping baby, by yourself? Or are you giving it to someone else? I wouldn't be able to live if I found you with some other guy. If you had already moved on, and I was too late, I would kill myself. The pain, the anguish, the guilt... It would be too much

I walked into the forest, by myself, and just looking into the distance frightened me. I was a man, pretty strong and tall, but how lethal was this forest? I don't know, I've never even read about it as much as you have. 
Once again, I regret thinking your ridiculous travel dreams were not so important, because I needed all that information now. I continued walking, blowing my whistle and calling out your name. "Y/n???? Are you here?!!!" I screamed, but all that was heard was the echo of my voice, and birds flying out of the trees, startled by the sound. 
This place was creepy, and I didn't feel right being here. I also didn't leave some sort of trail marking, so if I wanted to return the way I came, I would most likely become lost.

I looked over to the sky in between the trees, and squinted as the sun burned my eyes. I looked towards the distance yet again, and it was official, I was scared.
But it wasn't the type of scared like when a little kid is scared of the monster under his bed. This was different. It was the type of scared where, you kind of start to realize what you had has really vanished. The kind of scared, where it all starts to really sink in.
I made a big mistake, and I can't take the guilt away from my heart. It has consumed me entirely, and I just hope that I find you soon. 
But look at this place... Did I honestly think I could find you in a place like this? This whole trip has just gone off from crazy, lunatic ideas, that haven't made any sense. I guess that's the answer then. Love doesn't make any sense, and I was just going by whatever I thought I knew about you. Perhaps I never knew you, because I never really paid any attention to you. If anyone would ever ask me what Hillary likes, I'd know everything about her. But why didn't I ever pay attention to what you liked to do, or the dreams you had?

"I would have given it all away, no questions asked, for you. I had even gave up my dreams of traveling, just so that we could be together forever!!!" Your words once again resurfaced from that night when I made the biggest mistake of my life. I can't believe I was so careless. You would have given it all for me, you would have stayed with me. 
I guess what I realize now, is that I'm not only trying to find you to tell you that I am in love with you. I'm also trying to run away from the pain that I have inside of me. 
But it's not possible to run away from it. No matter what, shadows come with the pain that you're running from.