Recovery (Sequel to Been You)

Chapter 5: Breakfast With Me

ELYSANDRA'S POV:

I wake up alone with a faint aching in my head. It's not bad enough to get up and find Justin to get my medicine, but the loneliness is. Ever since the accident, loneliness has been an ever present part of my life, and I must admit: it's scary as hell. I only recognize one person in my entire life, and I only know two. I've grown up being lonely my entire life, never having any friends besides Justin, but I've never actually felt this alone. Just as I start to get up to find him, Justin backs into his room, a tray of delicious smelling food in his hands. My stomach physically growls and drops simultaneously as he sits the tray in front of me, saying, "Oh good, you're up," while smiling warmly.

"Justin, you didn't have to do all of this," I say, while shoving a piece of bacon in my mouth. He laughs at this happily, sitting beside me in bed.

"It's kinda... it's just something I do now," he says smiling to himself. Well, damn, if Justin making me breakfast that tastes this good is a normal thing, maybe this life isn't so shitty after all. I'm unable to answer, with my mouth being full and all, so Justin continues the conversation on his own. "I'd cook for you, you'd say that I don't need to do all of that, that I've already got you. I'd say that making you happy makes me happy, that you make me the happiest guy in the world, I just wanna make you happy in return..." Justin starts. My heart sinks. I swallow hard.

"I'm sorry," I answer weakly. He quickly rubs my shoulder with a concerned expression.

"No, no, no, that's not what I was - I'm just - I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I was just saying that... you mean the world to me, El. I don't ever want you to feel like you don't deserve something, because you do. You deserve everything that I could possibly give you; everything that you want. Just let me know what that is, and it's yours," he assures. Well, that's new. Even when I remember when he had to try to get into a girl's pants, he never went that far. But then again, he's never really had to. Is he being for real? I mean, I love and trust him, he's my best friend. I know that he'd never intentionally hurt me. But I don't think he's ever intentionally hurt any girl. He's just been very fickle romantically. And that's fine, he's allowed to change his mind. I just am not prepared to give in to his advances only for him to change his mind about me.

"Well, I'd kinda like to meet these so called 'friends' I have all of the sudden," I joke. Justin laughs back. "Be honest with me, Justin. Are these really my friends? Or are they your friends who just tolerate me because I'm always with you?"

"Well, the guys? They were my friends first, but I can honestly say that I think they like you more. They gave me so much shit when you weren't around that week when we broke up," Justin explains.

"Wait, we broke up for a week?" I ask incredulously. It's so strange hearing about your life like this.

"Yeah, and let me tell you, that was hell. For the both of us, I think."

"Why?" I question.

"Hm?"

"Why did we break up?"

"Oh, uh," he hesitates. "Selena kissed me and you thought it was the other way around."

"Who the hell is Selena? Did she know we were dating?" I say, instantly getting defensive. I know he's not my boyfriend, but... I still feel some type of way.

"She's Ryan's girlfriend, and yeah, she knew about you. She waited until you went to sleep," Justin recaps. My eyes go wide.

"Ryan as in Ryan Ryan?" I ask incredulously. Justin nods, somewhat annoyed. "Wait, why didn't you tell me he has a girlfriend? A girlfriend who tried to steal my boyfriend? I asked him out, Justin!"

"Well, I told you it was a bad idea!" Justin yells defensively. "Plus, he'd leave her for you in a second, anyway," he mutters angrily.

"Justin..." I start softly.

"Why give him a chance and not me?" He blurts. I'm taken aback, but he still continues. "We both have a history, but he's the only one that's hurt you specifically. Yeah, I've hurt my share of women in the past, but never you. I could never do to you what he has. Yet his sins are all forgiven, and I'm still held accountable!" I'm quiet for a moment, gathering my thoughts.

"Higher risk," is all I say.

"What?"

"You're a higher risk. If I date Ryan and he breaks my heart, yeah it'll hurt, but at least I'll still have you. I'll still have my best friend who loves me and cares for me. I'll still have you to comfort me and make me feel safe. I'll still have you, the most important person in my world. If I date you and you break my heart... I'll have nothing," I explain, my voice cracking at the end. Tears well in my eyes. Justin sets the tray of food on his nightstand before pulling me in close, resting my head on his chest. The sound of his heart is all I hear before his voice breaks the silence.

"Shh, shh, I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry," he comforts. I breathe heavily, willing my tears to stop, thankful for the warmth around me that is Justin.