Recovery (Sequel to Been You)

Chapter 37: Sleeping... With Me?

ELYSANDRA'S POV:

I know Justin's right. I should move to the couch. However, I can't will myself to move. Therefore, I just lay here, alone with the cool linoleum pressed against my skin. That is, I thought I was alone, until I hear someone clear their throat. I sit up slightly to see who it is.

"Don't you wanna, um, lay down?" Ryan suggests from across the kitchen. I lay my head back down.

"Yes," I mumble, "but I can't move."

"Oh," he responds uncomfortably.

"Can you carry me? Justin'll have a fit," I say, unable to finish my thought. He's quiet for a moment, probably debating on whether or not it's appropriate. "Please? It's not that deep."

"Okay, yeah," he agrees, hesitantly walking over to me. I only know because his footsteps are loud and painfully slow. Suddenly, I feel his warm arms lifting me, carrying me into the living room. I relax my body into his, unable to hold myself up. He spills me onto the couch, where I curl up into a ball sleepily. He begins walking away to which I question.

"Where are you going?" I groan. He looks around, awkwardly playing with his hands. "You know? From what I'm told, we used to be friends," I grumble, eyes closed.

"We are friends," he replies quickly.

"Then why are you acting like you barely know me? It's almost like you're the one with amnesia," I comment, opening my eyes, annoyed.

"I'm not, it's just... I thought, since you're with Justin now..." he trails off.

"That I'm not allowed to have friends?"

"No! Just that... that you wouldn't want to be friends with me," he answers sadly.

"Well, you're wrong. So if we're not friends anymore, that's on you."

"No, we are friends," he defends.

"Good," I say, patting the space next to me. He takes a seat, eyeing me suspiciously. I rest my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes tiredly.

"So," he interjects, probably trying to keep me awake. "Are you... are you okay?" He asks.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just that... you're all bruised up and tired and... I know that... last night was... yeah. I just wanna make sure you're alright. You know, as a friend," he scrambles.

"I am. I mean, I'm hurting, I'm tired, and I'm stressed about missing class, but... it was worth it," I decide.

"And Justin, he treated you... did he treat you right?" He concerns.

"Yes, he was very considerate. I promise," I answer smilingly.

"Good. Because if he ever isn't, I'll have to kick his ass," he jokes. I laugh in response.

"Thank you, Ryan," I appreciate playfully. "Ryan?" I ask.

"Hm?"

"Does Selena treat you right?" I question curiously. I've never met the girl, but if she's the type to kiss my boyfriend while she herself has a boyfriend... I don't think I'm gonna like her very much. Ryan considers my question for a while.

"Sorta. I mean, she's not bad to me, but I can tell she's interested in other guys. I can tell that I'm kinda just a placeholder for her, to give her attention when no one else will. I can tell that she doesn't really want me."

"Then why do you stay with her?" I ask, curiously. He considers this too.

"I don't know. I guess it's just that... even though Sel doesn't want me more than other guys, she has to want me to a degree, right? Or else she wouldn't be with me. I guess I'm just afraid that if I give that up, I won't find anything better. It just feels good to be wanted, even a little bit," he admits.

"Listen, Ry. The only other guy I've ever dated treated me just that same way. He was the first guy to show me any kind of affection, so I latched onto him, thinking I'd never find anything better. He made me feel awful about myself, looking at other girls, making me feel less than. And me being with him, took me away from Justin. He clouded my vision so all I could see was him. It pulled me away from the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. It took him cheating on me for me to finally let go. I don't want you to have to get hurt to let go. If she doesn't value you, she doesn't deserve you. You're a great guy, Ryan. You're cute, funny, sweet, talented... You deserve a girl that wants you and only you. But you're not gonna find her if you're being stepped on by Selena," I advise. He lets this sink in.

"Wow. Thank you, El," he says, wrapping his arm around me, hugging me.

"Don't thank me. I just wish someone was there to tell me this when I was in your shoes," I answer, my voice weakening by the end.

"I'm so lucky to have you as a friend, Ely. I really am sorry about the..." Ryan starts. He does finish, but I can't make out the words that he's saying as I drift off to sleep. All there is is darkness and warmth.